An Evening of No Parenting

It's been quite awhile since we've been sans baby. There was one evening this past winter when Stephen and Asher were snowed-in down at his parents' house, but other than that, I haven't spent a night without my child since last summer. I was agonizing over this all day long - actually I began fretting last night - because I remembered how heartbroken I felt the last time when he spent the night away from us. When I got home from work tonight, though, I was a little surprised: it didn't feel too bad not having to turn my mommy switch on.

Don't get me wrong - I miss the little booger like crazy, and when I was informed that he cried for twenty minutes before finally falling asleep, I was this close to jumping in the car and driving forty minutes to...I don't know, wake him up just to tell him Mommy was there and everything was going to be okay? I didn't, though; as hard as it was, I let the umbilical cord remain detached.

But it's definitely different now than it was last summer. He was so much smaller then, and more helpless. Letting someone else care for him overnight felt like letting someone else take your prized childhood teddy bear or blankie away for a night. AND THE WORRY! But now? I don't know; could it be everyone was right? That there WILL come a day when I'll be thankful and even begging of grandparents/relatives/friends/someone, anyone to take my child off my hands for a night or two? That used to seem like a ridiculous thought to me, but now...I can appreciate a little time off, I think.

So what did us two crazy kids do with our responsibility-free evening? The question really should be what DIDN'T we do! First, we went to fabulous Costco to look at patio furniture. Gosh, that was exciting! Then, we had a FANCY dinner at Boston Market - with COUPONS! We ate for half price, baby! We got really wild and crazy after that and went to the mall. Things got a little sticky there when I saw a baby with Easter Bunny ears on - he'd just visited the Easter Bunny and it reminded me that we need to take Asher out to see the Easter Bunny and then I started thinking about Asher and that I was - *GASP* - semi-enjoying my time out without him and then I felt like a bad mom and wanted to go home and cry into the mountain of dirty laundry on the floor of my closet because that's where bad moms like me belong - on top of a pile of dirty laundry. But, Stephen suggested a less crazy way for me to direct my emotions by leading me to all the kiddie stores. We found a bucket hat for Asher for this summer at Children's Place, a really-dorky-for-an-adult-but-super-cute-for-a-two-year-old Christmas sweater at BabyGap, and a bunch of stuff on sale for next winter DIRT FREAKIN' CHEAP at this new store, Crazy 8. This place is awesome! They are owned by Gymboree, but the stuff is a bit more hip (less cutesy) and WAY less expensive. We wrapped up our evening out with a short trip to Target, where I bought CURTAIN RODS. Wow, I know!

Now that we've been pampered by an evening off, I'm looking very forward to Asher Bug's return tomorrow. I'm sure after two days of toddler wrangling, Marmie and Grandfather will be looking very forward to Asher Bug's return home, too.

Read more...

Riding Bareback...and Barebutt

NeeNee and PaPa gave Asher a really cool Spin & Bounce Pony for his birthday. You'd never guess it from its name, but you can spin and bounce around on it. You can also hook it up to the TV and play interactive learning games. It's been sitting in the box all this time, though, mostly due to the move and partly due to the fact that we are lazy parents. Last night, tired of looking at the box, I decided to finally put it together so there would be a much less tidy mess to look at.

Asher doesn't quite get the interactive games, yet...All he's mastered so far is getting on and off the horse, spinning it a little, and pushing the forward button on the handle that makes it skip to the next game. Stephen and I were getting a little frustrated because HEY this is a pretty cool toy, gosh, it would have been fun to have had neato toys like this when WE were little, and here was Asher, completely fascinated with climbing on, off, on, off, on, off and push-push-push-push-pushing the buttons. Stephen came this close to pushing Asher off the horse and climbing on himself, but I think he realized his butt is about the size of the horse and fun would not have been had if he made the attempt.

Asher is so excited about his new toy that after his shower last night, he came tearing out of the bathroom naked and climbed right on the horsey. I cringed a little, listening to his naked butt and private area squeak across the plastic, but he didn't seem to mind. I guess real cowboys don't need clothes. He does need a hat, though, and then he could be the new naked cowboy. I certainly think Asher is much cuter, don't you?

Read more...

Living Room & Dining Room

Nothing too exciting, other than the fact that I think we're just about all settled in - YIPPEE! We just have a few minor things to do...put up curtains, buy some furniture for the deck, hang a few pictures here and there...but other than that, DONE. Hallelujah, praise the Lord!

Just don't look in our garage. Or the guest room.

Read more...

Why Monitoring Your Child's TV Viewing Is Important

Pay no attention to my messy bedroom, please. It's still in the works. What needs to be seen here is the evidence that if you turn your back for even one minute - just one! - your child could find something totally horrific on the television and want to watch it. Go ahead - click on the picture. Enlarge it!

That's right - I leave the room with Spongebob on. I come back to find Asher, remote in hand, deeply entranced by an episode of Family Matters. It's not surprising that he changed the channel - he is a boy, after all; channel surfing is one of his favorite pastimes. What is shocking is that he found Steve Urkel on BET while flipping through the channels and was so mesmerized by him that he halted his channel surfing and SAT STILL FOR 15 MINUTES - exactly in that position - watching the show until I turned the TV off. The horror!

Here come the nightmares of Asher saying his first words, "Did I do that?"

Read more...

It's Best Not to Think about the Other Side of the Line

I've received numerous calls from several different people in the past in which they flat-out told me they were sitting on the can while talking to me. Personally, I can't do this. For me, I typically behave no differently when on the phone than I would if the person were actually in the room with me. There have been a couple of instances with my mom or BFF in which I've gone tinkle while on the phone, but these were emergency weeder situations only; besides, I've gone pee with them in the room, anyway, so it really wasn't breaking my rules. Pooping while on the phone, though...I'm a prude, I know, but I'm just incapable of doing this. And, unlike Asher, if the phone rings while I'm in a state of undress, I'll normally have to throw a robe on before I answer it. Call me paranoid, but if they can hear me, I feel like they can see me.

So if people poop while talking on the phone, it makes me wonder what other things people do on the phone. I know a lot of you out there EAT while on the phone - let me tell you, it's annoying! My dear husband used to fall asleep while talking to me on the phone back in our dating years...also annoying; he's lucky I married him after that. I'm guilty of nursing while on the phone. Again, though, I did that in front of people, too, so no rule breaking there. What else goes on on the other side of the line? Baths? Waxing? Taxidermy? It makes me wonder about all that goes on the other side of the line in chat rooms and even on e-mail, too. Like right now, while I'm typing this - for all you know, I could be biting the callouses off the bottom of my dirty feet.

You know, we received a couple of phone calls last week from PRISON. And, yes, that's exactly what our caller id read - it certainly didn't sugar coat the information. Do you think I picked up the phone? Too bad whoever it was didn't leave a message. I'm just hoping it was a wrong number.

Read more...

Asher Freaks Out the Ladies...AGAIN

Friday night, my dad and step-mom came up to see the house and pay a visit to Asher. It had been a long time since we'd seen them - since August - so we were really happy to have them over. They brought along a special treat for Asher, which was his cousin, Kayleigh. She is the daughter of my step-brother, Jason, and is only three weeks younger than Asher.

Asher was absolutely fascinated with Kayleigh, but he's definitely got a lot of learning to do when it comes to how to treat women. First off, SHARE YOUR TOYS, Asher. He didn't fuss at all when she'd try to play with his toys; no, he'd just toddle over to her and YANK them right out of her hands. Or, he'd use the even more subtle tactic of simply pushing her out of the way. Granted, he's not used to being around other kids, but apparently Kayleigh isn't, either, and she was just as sweet as pie, not only sharing her toys, but also not crying when Asher would take them away from her. Second, TAKE IT SLOWLY IN THE PHYSICAL DEPARTMENT, Asher. He was in her poor little face nearly the entire time; if he wasn't stealing her toys or pushing her, he was hugging her, kissing her, grabbing her, pulling her down, or even tackling her. That's right - my son knocked her down and climbed up on her at least twice. She was a pretty good sport, though; much more tolerant than I would have been. I really, really hope he gets some better manners by the time prom rolls around.

I learned from hanging out with Kayleigh for a few hours that what everyone tells me seems to be true: boys and girls are different. I couldn't get over how calm she was; she would sit and play with one toy for a couple of minutes, would sit on my lap without squirming, would come when you called her name, was extremely gentle with everything. Asher, on the other hand, is like a constant ball of motion. He's grabby, rough, wiggly, squirmy, always on the go and busy trying to climb things. He's too busy most of the time to pay any attention to us when we call for him, and play with just one toy for longer than two seconds? That's crazy talk! Any time I've complained about this to other people, I typically get the same "oh well he's just being a boy!" response. Before, that really meant nothing to me. But, if Kayleigh is a good example of how most girl babies are, then yeah...I guess they are different.

Asher had a great visit with everyone, aside from the fact that he wouldn't go near my dad for most of the time. Maybe if it's not another seven months before we see Grandpa and Grandma again, he'll warm up to Grandpa sooner. Asher did wear his motorcycle jammies just for Grandpa, though, so Grandpa shouldn't feel too slighted. Hopefully, Kayleigh will forget how handsy Asher is and will be agreeable to another date in the near future. She wasn't totally miserable around him, though - as you can see in the below picture, she not only let Asher kiss her goodnight, but she actually enjoyed it. In fact, she let him lick/kiss her cheek many times before we finally pulled him off of her.

(Oh, and about the picture above: everyone was waving bye bye. Grandma and Grandpa probably won't be too happy about the silly picture of them, but hey, sorry - the kids look cute. Plus, it's the best group picture I was able to get of everyone. Darn babies and their great skill at being uncooperative during picture time...)

Read more...

Sorry Folks: No Crazy St. Patrick's Day Stories Here

As usual, St. Patrick's Day was a pretty uneventful occasion for us. No crazy drinkin' stories, no bar hopping, not even one green beer consumption on this end of the computer. YES, WE ARE BORING. And I can't even blame that on the fact that we have a kid. This is just what we are good at.

Actually, this year we did more than we typically do. We went down to my in-laws for some homemade Irish cuisine, which consisted of corned beef, carrots & potatoes, steamed cabbage, and deviled eggs, some of which were dyed green in the spirit of the day. Stephen and I were apprehensive about the menu, as neither of us are fans of Irish food, but it was surprisingly very good. (Well, at least I thought so.) I ate so much cabbage and deviled eggs that I thought I was going to explode. (And maybe I will; we'll just leave it at that.) It was totally worth it, though.

Asher wore his "lucky & charming" t-shirt in celebration, along with his green-striped socks and green & gray shoes. Like his father, he hardly touched the food that was served. Party poopers.

Thanks to Joe for pulling us out of the house and getting us to celebrate the day with some great food!

Read more...

Playhouse

It was so nice out this evening that Stephen decided to whip the grill out for the first time this year and make burgers. While he grilled, Asher played in his new backyard for the first time. The super fun thing about his new backyard is that, thanks to the people who used to live here, he has a playhouse in which to play.

Okay, okay, so what is a toddler boy going to do with a playhouse, you might wonder. Well, probably not much. However, we have discovered there are oodles and oodles of little girls in the neighborhood. Little girls who love playhouses. Little girls who used to play in this playhouse with the little girl who used to live here. Little girls who will continue to want to play in this playhouse. Twice already, in fact, I've peeked out the kitchen window and spotted the neighbor's daughter and her friend running in and out of the playhouse.

Stephen advised me that if any little girls come knocking at the door asking to play in the playhouse, I should flat out tell them NO. I, on the other hand, see a great opportunity to get in nice with the girls and find some prospective future babysitters for my child. Asher simply sees his playhouse as a great big chick magnet.

Read more...

Avid Reader

Asher has liked being read to for most of his year-long life, but over the past couple of weeks I've noticed that he's taken more of an interest in "reading" to himself. It used to be, he'd grab a book and toddle over to us, grunting and waving the book, as if to say, "READ TO ME, BITCHES!" More and more, I'm finding him quietly occupying himself, often times with a book.

His favorite books are those by Sandra Boynton, which we started collecting after several hand-me-downs were given to us by Cousin Ella and we discovered how cute and fun to read they are. He also enjoys his Sesame Street "Sesame Beginnings" line of books, Disney Babies books (much to our chagrin, as they are pretty weak and lame), and Muppet Babies books. We had bought him several books in a series by Olivier Dunrea for his birthday because we thought they were adorable, but for some reason he can't seem to stand them. After about two pages, he pushes the book away, starts whining, and rushes over to pick out a new book. Go figure. He is also really getting into "flap-books." So far, he's been really gentle with the couple he has, so we just bought him a set of Elmo flap-books for his Easter basket. (Shh, don't tell him.)

Asher is a man with a variety of tastes, though, and lately doesn't seem fully satisfied by those baby books. He occasionally likes us to read to him from the Uncle John's Bathroom Reader books or Reader's Digest when we're conducting business in the bathroom. Then there are times we find him pulling books out of the bookcase and perusing them on his own. In the below picture, he was caught looking at one of his favorite books, Sinatra 101. I guess what surprises me the most about this is that he seems to be entertained by the words, as these books really don't have any pictures to look at. Why am I surprised, though? This is the boy who watches Hogan's Heroes with Daddy and the military channel with Grandfather with almost as much excitement as Yo Gabba Gabba.

Read more...

Notice Anything Missing?

That's right - I finally bit the bullet and took a pair of scissors to Asher's head tonight. The overall length itself wasn't bothering me - actually, I thought the little wisps of fine baby curls at the tips of his hair after his bath were the sweetest things in the whole wide world. But the hair hanging over the ears had been getting on my nerves for awhile now. And I couldn't just cut the hair above his ears, because then poor Asher would be sporting a baby mullet. I'd been putting it off, though, hoping that Stephen would put his well-known barbering skills to use, because I had no clue how to cut it, but this evening Asher was being such a good boy while I was giving him a bath, sitting so still while looking at his bath books, that I decided it was time to snip.

I don't think it turned out too bad. Luckily, baby hair is so fine that it's hard to screw it up. There was less than an inch in length I cut, but his hair looks so much more tidy and proper now. I think he looks older, too. No more Hippie Asher. This is for you, Grandfather!

Read more...

Office Space

One of the things we really like about this house is the dual built-in desks. We have a lot of crap, between Stephen's collection of electronics and all of my craft and art supplies, so workspace has always been an issue for us. Now we each have our own separate spaces in which to make messes - the above desk is mine, and the one below is Stephen's. Of course, we are good children and share well. Currently, I am typing away at his desk, and he has his laptop sprawled out on top of mine. Before you know it, our junk will merge once again into a unified pigsty.

Read more...

Baby Steps

Who knew getting the house in order would take SO FRICKIN' LONG?! Geesh, it's driving me crazy. Sometimes I feel like I'm spinning my wheels. Granted, I only have about two to three hours an evening to devote to the house, which is rarely uninterrupted and also includes time spent on laundry and general cleaning, but after a month of living here, I wish I could say more than just our flippin' stairway was completely done! But, hey - it's something. No matter how tiny it is, it's still one thing to mark off the list. I hung the final picture this evening. Whew.

My problem is, I don't work on one room until it's finished. I'm a complete scatter-brain; I'll get up to get something from another room, get distracted with another project in the process, and then I'll get distracted with something else, and so on and so on...it's no wonder I never feel like I get anything completely done - it's because I don't! So, who knows what room I'll complete next...Hell, if I can get a room done rather than just a hallway it'll be a miracle.

Read more...

Fourteen Months Old

I'm feeling a little bit like the worst mom ever lately...I've been so preoccupied for the past month with THE MOVE that I haven't been able to devote as much attention to Asher as I normally do. Since Stephen hasn't done a whole lot with the move, most of the baby wrangling tasks have fallen on his shoulders. I've only given a couple of baths, read a handful of books, and played with toys a few times in the past few weeks. It has sucked! Not to mention, I've hardly posted at all on here, and the pictures I've taken of Asher have been very few and far between.

I really feel like I've missed out.

But, thankfully the unpacking and arranging is almost completed. It'll be so nice to be nestled in our home and able to spend the evenings however I wish again, and not feel pressed to be doing 50 things all at once. More than anything, it'll be nice to be able to devote full attention to the little guy who is growing so quickly I often find myself staring at him to try to stop him from changing so much. If a watched pot never boils, does a watched baby stop growing? Obviously not.

Asher has been, as always, quite the busy little bee. He's basically a full-time walker now, only occasionally crawling when he topples over, and will sometimes even try to run. He pretty much just ends up looking like Frankenstein, only much cuter and less scary. He's off of baby food and onto regular food, and fully into the hot and cold, finicky eater stage. One day, he can't shovel macaroni and cheese fast enough into his mouth. The next day? OH MY GOD IS IT VILE. Don't you dare put it on his highchair tray - if it's within ten feet, his arms start flailing and he begins to sound like you're sticking toothpicks under his toenails. I've talked to just about every single person I encounter who has ever had a child around his age, his doctor, and I've consulted the books, and from this I know it's completely normal. Does this stop me from freaking out and have panic attacks in the middle of the night about it? Of course not. I think it's the loss of control, I can no longer force him to eat, and it's giving me just the tiniest and teensiest taste of the lack of power over my child's life that I will eventually have. I DO NOT LIKE THIS ONE BIT.

Asher's current favorite thing to do is hiding things. I don't necessarily think he's really hiding things, but we call it that because he reminds us of someone hiding Easter eggs. It doesn't matter what it is - toys, megabloks, Mommy's lotions, Daddy's socks, food from the pantry - he is obsessed with picking it up and moving it to a new location, and then going back to it and moving it again. And again. Preferable locations include the inside of cabinets, boxes, drawers, the refrigerator, and trash cans. It's cute how much thought he puts into it, moving things from one spot to another, and it's a Godsend by keeping him entertained. These factors seem to outweigh our frustration from the constant disorganization and loss of stuff.

We're beginning to limit his buggy time a bit more by providing it to him only when he's cranky and at sleepy time. Mostly, I want him to be able to practice talking more with an empty mouth, because he's yet to say any REAL words, aside from mama, dada, and papa. He is mimicking us more; like when I say "banana" he might say "bashamafa" or when I say "diaper" he'll say something like "diediefa." It's like he gets the first syllable right, but after that he just wings it. It kind of reminds me of when we'd have to practice having conversations in French class. Once you get past "Hi, my name is, what's your name, where are the bathrooms?" it's all a lot of mumbo jumbo.

Now that he's becoming a big boy, we're finally doing what a lot of parents start doing at a much younger age - sleep training. About a month ago, we stopped rocking him before bedtime and started just putting him in his crib, but we'd stay hunched next to the crib for the hour it would take for him to fall asleep. Now that we're beyond crippled from the damage done to our backs, we're sucking it up and making him go to sleep behind closed doors, apart from us. Knock on wood, it's going really well so far. Last night, he only screamed bloody murder for about five minutes, and tonight, he screamed only for maybe thirty seconds. He's been sleeping much better through the night for the past month, too, which I think is due to us making him fall asleep on his own instead of us putting him to sleep. Of course the doctor has recommended we do this oh, since he was about four months old, but honestly we have enjoyed the cuddle time before bedtime. Unfortunately, he's just getting too big and too strong to wrestle on our laps comfortably, so we've had to let go and let him grow up a little.

As difficult as his tantrums and food strikes can be at times, I've got to say this age is super fun and I'm loving being the mommy of a toddler. He is a nonstop prankster. His laughter fills the house. He is learning to do the Itsy Bitsy Spider with me. He hobble-runs to me from across the room with the biggest, cheesiest grin on his face just to give me a hug. He gives the grossest, wettest, open-mouthed, full-tongue kisses, but they're the most wonderful kisses I've ever received. I'm looking so very forward to the upcoming months and all the new stuff he's going to learn. Of course, with learning comes a whole different level of parental exhaustion...but I'm up for it.

Read more...