Season Aversion?
It's incredibly hard to believe it's been a whopping year ago since we came out with the news about my pregnancy with Asher. Our lives have changed so much in the past year (so so so so SO SO SO, oh-so much), but it still seems like only yesterday that I was feeling the crippling grip of morning sickness, better described as all-day and all-night sickness. Of course, that could be because I'm feeling it ALL OVER AGAIN.
No, no, no, I'm not pregnant. This is even weirder than pregnancy. My sister-in-law had mentioned it to me last Fall, saying that she felt pangs of nausea just like she did the year prior when she was going through her pregnancy pukiness. I'd never heard of this before. And still to this day, I haven't read or heard anything about this in all of the hundreds of books, internet articles, e-mails, and conversations with other women I've had.
But wouldn't you know it? The weather has become disgustingly humid and hot (like it is every June in Indiana), and we've had to close up the house and turn on the air conditioner. The minute this all happened, I started getting pangs of nausea. It's the craziest thing! And not only is the weather making me want to barf, but certain smells that made me queasy last year are suddenly setting me off now, too.
It must be a psychological issue, one similar to taste aversion - where you eat something, get sick for whatever reason within a short period of time after eating it, and then you relate your feelings of sickness to that food to the point where just the thought or smell of that food can make you feel sick. You know, the way I can't even think about a chicken pot pie from Boston Market because I had it for dinner the first day that I started feeling nauseous last year. I could totally hurl from just writing about it. It's the only explanation there could be - the weather is just flooding me with precious memories from last year. Memories of me with my head in the toilet bowl. At least last year when I went through it, though, it was for a good cause - I don't know why the hell I want to continue tormenting myself with it this year.
I have been very reflective, though, about my pregnancy lately, and not just because of my lingering pseudo-morning sickness. Ever since Mother's Day, the day on which I found out I was pregnant last year, I've been fondly reminiscing about being pregnant. Actually, before I even had Asher I felt sad about the pregnancy ending. I loved the excitement that came with being pregnant; I loved how special I felt for getting to grow a person inside of me; I loved the bond I felt with the baby. And yes, true, there will probably be at least one more pregnancy in my future. And it will be special, too, but it's going to be a different kind of special. I realize this makes me sound selfish, but it's true - I have a kid now already, I've been Pregnant Kim before, it's old news, and I won't be treated quite the same as I was the first time around. It's like, the novelty of it will have been worn off. Not to mention there'll be a little rug rat I'll be chasing after while in the throes of vomiting and backaches. I'm afraid, too, I won't have the time or energy to cherish the subsequent pregnancies like I did with my first.
Who knew nausea could bring about such feelings of nostalgia?
No, no, no, I'm not pregnant. This is even weirder than pregnancy. My sister-in-law had mentioned it to me last Fall, saying that she felt pangs of nausea just like she did the year prior when she was going through her pregnancy pukiness. I'd never heard of this before. And still to this day, I haven't read or heard anything about this in all of the hundreds of books, internet articles, e-mails, and conversations with other women I've had.
But wouldn't you know it? The weather has become disgustingly humid and hot (like it is every June in Indiana), and we've had to close up the house and turn on the air conditioner. The minute this all happened, I started getting pangs of nausea. It's the craziest thing! And not only is the weather making me want to barf, but certain smells that made me queasy last year are suddenly setting me off now, too.
It must be a psychological issue, one similar to taste aversion - where you eat something, get sick for whatever reason within a short period of time after eating it, and then you relate your feelings of sickness to that food to the point where just the thought or smell of that food can make you feel sick. You know, the way I can't even think about a chicken pot pie from Boston Market because I had it for dinner the first day that I started feeling nauseous last year. I could totally hurl from just writing about it. It's the only explanation there could be - the weather is just flooding me with precious memories from last year. Memories of me with my head in the toilet bowl. At least last year when I went through it, though, it was for a good cause - I don't know why the hell I want to continue tormenting myself with it this year.
I have been very reflective, though, about my pregnancy lately, and not just because of my lingering pseudo-morning sickness. Ever since Mother's Day, the day on which I found out I was pregnant last year, I've been fondly reminiscing about being pregnant. Actually, before I even had Asher I felt sad about the pregnancy ending. I loved the excitement that came with being pregnant; I loved how special I felt for getting to grow a person inside of me; I loved the bond I felt with the baby. And yes, true, there will probably be at least one more pregnancy in my future. And it will be special, too, but it's going to be a different kind of special. I realize this makes me sound selfish, but it's true - I have a kid now already, I've been Pregnant Kim before, it's old news, and I won't be treated quite the same as I was the first time around. It's like, the novelty of it will have been worn off. Not to mention there'll be a little rug rat I'll be chasing after while in the throes of vomiting and backaches. I'm afraid, too, I won't have the time or energy to cherish the subsequent pregnancies like I did with my first.
Who knew nausea could bring about such feelings of nostalgia?
0 comments:
Post a Comment