Why We Can't Get Anything Done Part V: Attack of the Colonel

On Sunday afternoon, I finally got to meet Stephen's youngest feline brother, Colonel George Longstockings.

Stephen snapped a couple of shots of George making a bed out of me while I was stretched out on the sofa attempting to watch "The Glenn Miller Story" with Stephen's parents. Maryann says this is how George likes to sleep on her at night - basically, by first attempting to strangle her by laying on her neck, and then when that doesn't work, trying to smother her in her sleep with his body on her head. If smothering doesn't work, he could cause deafness, at least, with his super loud purring right in your ear.

Luckily, our cats don't do this to us, but they do have their own unique methods of nocturnal torture. Sophie like to alternate sleeping next to me and sleeping next to Stephen, stretched out horizontally across the bed instead of vertically like us, so she can take up the most amount of space possible. It's always nice waking up in the middle of the night, pushed into the center of the bed with the other person teetering on the edge, while Sophie is stretched out and looking back at us like, um, could you possibly spare another inch, I'd really like to fully uncoil my tail and you're in the way. Sometimes, however, she'll give us a break and instead opt for sleeping on top of our exposed side when we're sleeping in the fetal position. This often results in very pleasant arm cramps and side aches. Charlie is notorious for sleeping on top of our legs, pinning us into weird contortions for who knows how long. Sam usually leaves us alone until around four or five in the morning. Then he jumps onto the bed, purring so loudly it wakes us, and then will usually do a variety of things to torment us, including, but not limited to: licking and biting Stephen's hands, arms & shoulders, head-butting me in the back in the attempt to roll me out of bed and then biting me on the back when his attempts fail, and crawling on top of the pillows and kicking our heads to push us off.

Sleeping is hard when you have kitties.