For the Love of Ketchup, Just Give Her Some Already

During the last visit I had at Mom's, I noticed that Ella has mastered yet another skill in her communication development: the ability to emphasize. Of course, she's always been able to RAISE HER VOICE, but usually that would go something like, "MOMMY I WANT chocolate" or "Brown stinky in my PANTS!" She is now taking annoyance to a whole new level as she learns to express herself, and it's probably all our fault.

Take the conversation we had recently. Mom asks Ella what she wants for dinner. Ella thinks about this for a moment, and then replies, "Old McDonald's." Mom asks what she wants from there. Ella says, "A cheeseburger. With ketchup." The instigator I am, I question whether she wants pickles. "No, Aunt Kimmie, I do want a cheeseburger with ketchup, I do." Perhaps she wants onions? "NO, I do want a cheeseburger with ketchup, I do, I DO!" Stephen then joins in, because maybe she doesn't really want a cheeseburger at all; maybe she wants chicken nuggets? "NOOOOOO," (And you'd swear you were hearing the voice of Satan at this point.) "I want a cheeseburger with KETCHUP, I DO, I DO want KETCHUP on my cheeseburger. I want cheeseburger with ketchup from Old McDonald's, I do, I DO!" Poor thing, she was starting to throw a tantrum, all because the big dumb flippin' idiots she has for relatives couldn't understand the simple request of a cheeseburger with ketchup from Old McDonald's. She apparently isn't yet old enough to understand the concept of teasing, and this makes it all the more enjoyable for us evil bastards to taunt her.

Now she tends to communicate in this matter all the time. "I do want to wear my Dora shoes." "I do want to go shopping." "I do have to pee." "I do want to eat chocolate." "I do want you to play toys." You know, just in case we were ever doubting her.

Fortunately for her, this method of expressing herself seems to be working out well for her. The adults in her life seem to find her firm declarations very cute and adorable, and tend to cave to her desires more times than not as compared to when she simply throws a fit or whines. Seriously, kids, it's amazing: when you're well-behaved, people seem to respect you more, or something. We went to Wal-Mart, and Mom asked me to take Ella to look at the toys while she finished her shopping. I took her, rather reluctantly, figuring she would want every single toy she saw and would throw a tantrum when I wouldn't get them for her. Surprisingly, she latched onto just one toy. It was an Aquadoodle that played "Old McDonald Had a Farm," which seems to be her current favorite song, and she just stood there mesmerized, until it stopped singing, and then she'd press it again. This went on for about 15 minutes, and in the course of this time, bored out of my mind and going crazy from the robotic moo moo here and the moo moo there, here a moo, there a moo, everywhere a moo moo, I asked her numerous times if she wanted to go look at the other toys, or if she was content staying here looking at this one. To which she replied, "Content staying here looking this one." When Mom arrived, I told her what Ella had been doing, so Mom asked her, "Do you like that toy?" Ella nodded and quietly but passionately said, "I do like this toy, NeeNee, I DO!" Needless to say, she was so darn cute and calm about the new love of her life, Mom just picked it up and put it in the cart.

I wonder if Ella would be available to accompany me when I request a promotion during my upcoming review...