Cookies and Internet Save the Day

So, the majority of the day today was pretty crappy for me. Nothing bad happened; it was just Monday and I must have really bad lingering PMS, which I like to think stands for pretty much shitty. During this time, my mood is pretty much shitty, my appearance is pretty much shitty, I feel overall pretty much shitty, and my social life is pretty much shitty because, for all of the above reasons, no one can bear to be around me. Anyway, I know no one wants to hear about my pretty much shitty time, but it had to be mentioned because there really was no other explanation for my mindset today.

I knew it was going to be a bad day when I couldn't get the wrapper off of my granola bar this morning at my desk. I struggled and struggled, and then finally used my trusty set of chicklet sized incisors to tear through the package. In the morning quiet of my office, that wrapper made the most annoying crinkling sounds. It was shiny, silver, noisey, hard to open, and contained about 2 1/2 bites of food that were supposed to satisfy my hunger for the next four hours. I hated it and all that it stood for. I gave that wrapper a full on stink eye, crumpled it up with my angry fist, flung it in the trash can, and muttered under my breath, f**k you!

Of course on top of my horribly wrong mood, I was extremely busy today transcribing my attorney's notes from the 18 pre-trial conferences and 4 hearings she attended last week. I really don't mind transcription at all; in fact, sometimes I actually enjoy it. But after two whole tapes, front and back, I was getting a little more than a little on edge. I called Stephen and asked him if he'd please go to lunch with me to give me a much needed break right after I went to the printer, heard someone sneeze and came this close to shouting F**K YOU to her, you know, just to put a twist on the traditional bless you, not because I'm crazy full of unexplained rage.

So anyway, that was pretty much my cheery mood for most of the day.

But! Things always manage to get better. I got home from work and checked my e-mail and the internet was surprisingly less sluggish than normal. Stephen announced he had called our crappy cable service and bumped the speed back up to what it used to be. He must have known that given my frame of mind today, I'd have lit the computer on fire and chucked it out the window within two minutes of turning it on. Oh, to have fast internet again. It's so fast. Like a marsupial.

Then after dinner, we went to Costco to buy my bi-weekly buttload of bottled water and saw MY COOKIES. Angela and Jeff just returned from their "babymoon" in Key West, and brought back these tasty Key Lime shortbread cookies for me because, well duh, they LOVE ME. I'm not usually much of a packaged dessert kind of girl - if it's not homemade, I can usually pass - and I typically am not a big fan of Key Lime whatever. But these cookies? I just can't fully describe how good they are. And, saying they are "good" is such a huge understatement. There is a price tag that was left on the box that says Key West on it, so I know they bought them down there; thank you very much, Stephen, they did not fly into Indy and say, crap I didn't get stupid Kim anything, let's go to Costco and pretend to get her a souvenir. So maybe these are a very popular brand that are sold in stores everywhere and I never noticed them, but since I'd never noticed them for all I knew they only existed there and I'd never get them again, or at least not until I'm 65 when we might finally get to go on a real grown-up trip by ourselves. But on my pretty shitty day, of all days, I discovered my "rare" cookies, a million of them, on a gigantic display at Costco.

Between all the cookies and fast internet, I'll end up huge, but at least my fat ass will be happy.