Dinner Time Isn't Always Painful

I know I tend to make it sound like Asher never eats anything, which is often the way it feels to me. But, there are some joyous occasions when he surprises me and totally pigs out on something weird like fish sticks or lima beans.

Below is a video of Asher chowing down on my corn-on-the-cob during dinner with my parents yesterday evening. Asher had his own corn, which I cut off the cob for him, but my rod of corny bliss must have been much more appetizing to him, as he whined for it until I finally handed it over to him. There is also some riveting discussion in the background regarding my step-dad's ability to take pictures with his cell phone. At least, Asher finds it pretty amusing for a couple of seconds.

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There Are Some Things in Life That Make No Sense, and Sometimes Those Things Are in My House

I'm, thankfully, feeling lots better today, so I went back to work, both at the office and at home. I'm not quite sure yet which has been a scarier task, but I'm beginning to think it's the home stuff. At the office, I really only missed two days, because my four-day yuckfest fell on a weekend. But at home...well, we all know there's no such thing as a "weekend" from housework, so I've fallen four days behind on laundry, vacuuming, cleaning, and tidying up. And before you start rolling your pretty little eyes, Stephen, because I KNOW you are, for once I am not ripping on your not-always-sweet housekeeping skills. You worked a ton of hours over the weekend, and when you weren't working, you were busy being a doting father and husband, taking care of your sick boy and wife. You had no time for housework, either. You are a good man and we love you!

So, anyway, I come home from work and begin to feed the cats and notice that, hanging on the banana rack - WHICH, I might add, I fully give credit to Stephen for not only using but for also purchasing on his own, with no prompting from me - are a bunch of nicely ripened bananas - WHICH, I also add, were purchased by Stephen the last time he went to the grocery store. And below these bananas are not one, but two halves of bananas. And next to those halves? (Here is where my panties get in a bit of a bunch.) A PERFECTLY CLEAN BANANA SAVER.

Wait - what's a banana saver, you might wonder? Well, it's this nifty little plastic clip thingy that you put over the end of a cut banana, which keeps the air off of the banana, and keeps it from going bad so quickly. So...it makes perfect sense that the banana halves are laying next to the banana saver, right?

Okay, okay, so maybe the banana saver was dirty when the first banana was cut. But that doesn't explain why there are still TWO banana halves laying on the kitchen counter. If the first half was too yucky to eat this morning - because as you can see, it's turning black, and when I picked it up to throw it away, it was definitely mushy - why wouldn't you just throw it out? Why would you keep it there, and lay the fresher half right next to it? Are we intentionally trying to attract fruit flies? I DON'T GET IT.

Stephen, any insight you can provide on this matter would be greatly appreciated.

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Blech Weekend

Normally I completely dread Mondays, but I'm actually looking forward to moving past this weekend. Both Asher and I have been sick, and to make matters worse, Stephen had to work ALL day both days this weekend (it's 10:00 right now and he still isn't home), so I've had to suck it up and try to pretend like I didn't want to just crawl in a hole and die. Yesterday wasn't too bad...I was feeling alright enough to take Asher for an hour-long walk around the neighborhood, so at least we got out of the house for a little bit. Today, though, was another story. My ears have been all stuffed-up, my head feels like it is going to implode, and my throat has been really itchy and scratchy. I've spent much of the day moping around the house. Asher took a four-hour nap, which would have been lovely if I'd been able to fall asleep, too. My stupid sinuses kept me awake the whole time. Ugh.

The funny thing is how much better kids seem to handle being sick than adults. Asher was whiny and you could tell he didn't feel good, but he was just as active and ornery as ever. Here I had been thinking we could at least be a couple of couch potatoes together, but NO. Asher took full advantage of the fact that I was miserable and pulled all the DVD's out, drug tons of food out of the pantry, ripped all his flashcards out of their box TWICE (what he was doing in the below picture), discovered the third shelf of big kid books on his bookcase - which he's never touched before - and pulled half the books off of it...I sat there, weakly muttering, "Asher no..." but he knew he could totally get away with it today.

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A Rare Photo of the Three of Us Together

I've hung close to a trillion photos in our house over the past couple of months and have discovered something strange - there is a disturbingly low number of photos of the three of us together. There is no shortage in the number of Asher pictures (duh). There is a good amount of pictures of Stephen with Asher, and a fair number of pictures of me with Asher. But of the three of us, together? Honestly, I think the last picture that was taken of our family was from July. Sad, sad, sad.

My goal is to have more pictures taken of us, which may involve me harassing you to be the photographer. This photo was taken by my mom the day before Mother's Day. Next time, maybe I'll be smart enough to suggest we face something other than the sun in our photo.

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Think This Is Bad? You Should See the Other Guy

My baby niece has recently lost her first tooth! Okay, seriously - didn't she just get teeth? I mean, my memory of her being all gummy and toothless is still pretty strong. For crying out loud...I guess she is five and a half!

Thanks to my sister for sending this picture. I hear Ella is very proud of her new hooligan-smile. She should be. The little stinker couldn't be any cuter!

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Where Would We Be Without Mommies?

This was my second Mother's Day as a mom. We did nothing too crazy, just went to my mom's for the weekend, ate a lot of good food, did some serious napping - the usual stuff we do when we go home. I've got to say I'm feeling a lot more comfortable in my role as Mom than I was feeling last year; I definitely feel like a mom now, and although I can't say I've completely got my shit together, I feel like I'm handling the mess of life a lot better than I was a year ago. Motherhood still seemed pretty crazy and unknown last year. I've now gotten to know that craziness extremely well and have become best friends with it; in fact, I'm not sure how I ever functioned without it.

I have to give many thanks to my mom for the wonderful job she's always done in dealing with the chaos of motherhood. I could not have asked for a better mom, not only for myself, but for Asher, too. I feel like I'm doing a pretty darn good job so far of being a mom, and a huge reason for that is because my mother was such a good role model for me when I was growing up. She is still the first person I turn to for advice and reassurance with my own parenting - she always seems to have all the right answers and, no matter what, she always makes me feel 110% better. Always. I think that, right there, is a huge sign that you're an excellent mother - when even at thirty years old, your child still fully believes that you are one of the wisest people to have ever walked the planet. Of course, it could also just be a huge sign that you've done a perfect job of brainwashing your child, but at this point, does it really matter? Someone thinks you rock - that's all that counts!

Thanks to all the moms out there for all the hard work you do. Mothers really do make the world a better, brighter, and less scary place!

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Just Another Typical Meal with Asher

Tonight for dinner we had grilled hotdogs, a delicacy offered a couple of times previously to Mr. Barr with unfavorable results. We even served it outside on the deck since the weather was so lovely. Unfortunately, he made his distaste for this supposed "kid-friendly" food apparent, once again. Only this time, all the neighbors now know not to invite Asher over to their house on beans 'n' wienies night.

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Still Totally in Shock

My BFF Laurie informed me five or six weeks ago that she was pregnant, and I was completely thrilled for her. For one, I know how much she's been wanting another child. Second, I know she's a wonderful mother. Her ten-year old daughter, Sloan, is honestly the sweetest, most caring, most well-behaved child I've ever encountered; it's pretty obvious that Laurie does great work in the parenting department. And three, well, it's selfish, but I felt she needed to have children closer in age to my child. Don't get me wrong - I absolutely adore Sloan and am totally looking forward to the day when I can use her babysitting services. But Laurie had already been waaaaay past the diaper and sleep deprivation stage by the time I had Asher. I can use all the friends I can get to be down in the baby trenches with me.

As if that isn't exciting enough, I read her blog last night and discovered some VERY interesting news...she had an ultrasound done yesterday and found out that she will need to purchase not one, but TWO car seats - she's having TWINS! How freakin' cool is that?! I had to read her post about three times and stare at the ultrasound picture for five minutes for it to finally sink in. Wow!

I am so very happy for her and her family. I can't wait for more pregnancy updates!

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Baby Continues Quest for Danger & Driving Mother to Insanity

So I come home from work and inform Stephen I have to go to the bathroom. On my way upstairs, I become distracted by the fact that all the windows in the house were closed. It's a gorgeous day for once, and no open windows - madness! While I'm opening windows, Asher follows me upstairs. I shout down to Stephen, look, I've really gotta go bad, you're going to have to watch him or something. Then I think I hear him get up off his butt downstairs, so I leave the room and conduct my business.

I come out of the bathroom and find the above. Baby sitting on top of desk, COMPLETELY unattended. No daddy to be found. What is not captured in this fine parenting moment is the fact that he had a large paperclip hanging out of his mouth, too. I was smart enough to yank that out of his mouth and yell at Stephen for not coming upstairs before snapping this shot. And his excuse? He thought I was taking Asher in the bathroom with me, and since Asher was completely silent during that time, he had no idea he was up here alone. Yeah, he was silent...BECAUSE HE WAS BUSY EATING PAPER CLIPS!

Can you just see the pure orneriness oozing out of this child's face? All I'm saying is, if you look up "stinker" in the dictionary, it's not a skunk's picture you'll find. I lost track of the number of times he climbed up on the desk this evening. And there's the climbing on top of the coffee table, out of the bathtub, on top of his toy basket...Evidently, we're in the climbing stage. Yippee.

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No Time for Clothes

Dressing Asher is usually a fairly difficult task; Heaven forbid he sit still for three minutes. We typically have to chase him down to get his pants on him, corner him to put that second sock on, tackle him to get his shirt on over his head. And I don't even want to discuss the wrestling matches involved in diaper changes. Yesterday was no exception. For some reason, I could not get that second sleeve on him. I may as well have been trying to dress a slippery, flopping fish out of water. I finally just gave up and let him run around like this until he settled down.

The headband? I did that just for my own amusement. And it never fails: that was the one thing I put on him that he didn't fight me with.

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Sixteen Months Old

For some reason, I'm having a really difficult time writing this post. I'm racking my brain for things to write about, things that Asher is busy doing, developmental progress he is making, ANYTHING...but I'm at a loss. Instead, I've just yawned at least twenty times in the last minute and a half. It's no wonder I can't think of a darn thing to write - I'm pooped! This is pretty much how I've been feeling lately, too...flat out exhausted. Part of it is my own fault - not getting as much sleep as I need and eating really poorly. But the other part of it? I'm blaming it on my son. Sometimes I sit back and am totally floored by all the energy that kid has, constantly sprinting from one room to the next, up the stairs, down the stairs, on the bed, off the bed. I am of the belief that our children suck the energy right out of us, just like they do our money and our sanity, and that is the real explanation behind parental poopedness.

Asher's comprehension continues to grow, which I think is just about the most thrilling thing in the whole entire universe. If he's in the mood, he can do the entire Itsy Bitsy Spider, and has learned to play Ring Around the Rosie. He tries to mock more and more words, nevermind that they are still completely off. If you ask him a question, he'll answer you. "Have you been a good boy today, Asher?" "Bah!" "What did you and Daddy do?" "Bwah bah!" "Was that fun?" "Bah! Da-da...Da-da...Da-da..."

Asher has also sprouted a new tooth! We're very happy that all the drooling and finger gnawing had a purpose, after all. Although, his teeth seem to be pretty pointless if he WON'T EAT HIS FOOD. I'm praying this is just normal, picky toddler behavior and not any true indication of his future diet. If he turns out to have his Daddy's taste in food, I'm pretty much screwed.

We're really excited that warmer weather is moving in so we can expand Asher's adventures to the outdoors. We've already played outside in the backyard on a few occasions, and have gone to the park several times. We're looking forward to getting his wading pool and sprinkler toys out, going to the zoo, teaching him to ride his pre-tricycle, going hiking, watching fireworks, attending PaPa's park band concerts, and hunting down some good fair food this summer. Yeah, I know we're only a month into Spring, but by the time I get the energy to do just one thing on the list, it'll be mid-August.

Here are pictures of Asher from the month of April.

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Can I Do It Again?

It was two years ago this month that Asher was conceived, and the time has already come for Stephen and I to start re-evaluating our family plans. It's strange - before I had Asher, I felt young and like I had all the time in the world to have a baby. Now that two years have passed and Asher is growing like a weed, I feel more pressure now than I did before. Before, those pressures were primarily from the mothers, relatives, and friends pushing us to get on the baby bandwagon. This time around, I'm finding all of the pressure is being created internally.

And, by the way, this in no way means we've started trying to get pregnant, or even that we've decided when to have another baby - now, six months, a year, two years, perhaps? This simply means we're talking about the possibility of when we might want to start thinking about having another child. And yes, we are the most passive, indecisive people I have ever known. Sometimes I really hate us.

I feel like between two and three years is a good age difference between siblings. If I want to obtain this age difference, we need to start cracking. Asher keeps getting older, you know! And speaking of age, I'm not getting any younger myself...I mean, seriously, I tweaked my back a couple of weeks ago by just getting into the car! And then there's the fact that both of us are getting very nostalgic about babies. Granted, this is probably partially due to the fact that Asher is acting less like a baby and more like a wild beast these days, but still, the baby craving is out there and it seems to be growing...

On the other hand, have you seen me lately? I'm a wreck! Hair is crazy, clothes are frumpy, the upkeep on grooming is poor, diet is atrocious...Mentally, I feel about ten times worse than that. I keep thinking about how insane everything felt right after I had Asher, and, though it's a different type of insanity, things still feel hectic and crazy right now...what kind of horrible, horrible mess would we create if we collided both of those worlds? Moreover, how would I cope in that chaos? And then there's money...sweet, cruel money. Of which we have none! But will we ever have some? Can we afford to wait until the economy shapes up and Steve gets a full-time job and our bank accounts are brimming with cold hard cash?

These are the thoughts that are eating away at my mind lately. I know we'll never really make an actual decision. We'll just finally give up, like we did the first time around. Two years after Asher's conception, and I'm still trying to figure out if I want to get pregnant. Although, I've got to admit, our passive decision-making the first time around had some pretty awesome results...

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Baby Kills Innocent Tube of Lipstick

This is really my fault; I saw Asher grab my lipstick off the table and toddle off with it, but I didn't think anything of it because, oh I don't know, I obviously had a complete mental shutdown at that exact moment, or something. Duh: toddler + lipstick = not a very good combination!

After a couple of minutes of him sitting across the room very quietly with his back to me, I knew something was up. Sure enough, I peeked over his shoulder to find him attempting to stuff both of his thumbs in the tube at the same time. Luckily, I came to my senses when I did; though the lipstick would have been saved entirely had I been sensible enough to not let him play with it in the first place, at least I caught him before he got bored with squishing it and learned he could fingerpaint on the walls and every other object in the house with it. The mess did take a good ten minutes to scrub off of him, and it only came off after we broke out the Comet with bleach. (Alright, so we didn't...that was our last resort if the Method dish soap didn't work. He was very relieved that it did.) Who knew lipstick was so hard to get off of skin? Not to mention, while cleaning him, he felt the need to touch every single thing on the sink he could reach with his grubby little stained paws, so I had a second mess to clean after him. That's okay, I got my revenge by scrubbing his rosy nostrils out.

Boys just have no respect for cosmetics!

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Rowan Turns Two

On Saturday, we attended a joint birthday party for Rowan and his friend, Lola, who were both turning two within a few days of each other. The weather was great, the babies were all on their best behavior, there were lots of crackers and juice to be consumed, there were slides and bouncy castles to play on...aside from the slight sunburn I got, it was a perfect party. Here are a few pictures taken from the day. I can't believe it's been two years ago since my little nephew was born. It seems like only yesterday that Stephen and I were lurking outside of the delivery room while Angela had him.

We also noticed that Asher and Rowan are playing together so much better now. Before long, their eight-month age difference won't be noticeable at all and they'll have so much fun getting into lots of trouble together. I mean, just look at that picture. They've both got "STINKER" written all over their faces.

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Spring!

72 degrees today, 80 degrees tomorrow, Saturday and Sunday, and 75 degrees on Monday? Could it be that Spring has finally decided to stop teasing us already and stay? Stephen and Asher went to the park to enjoy the weather this afternoon while I slaved away in my gray cubicle with nothing but cold, hard fluorescent lights shining down on me. Asher made Daddy take him down the slide at least 150 times, and I hear they also played on the swings and just ran around in the grass like a couple of wild men and taunted other small children who got in their way.

Above is a photo I took this evening of Stephen and Asher inspecting Marmie's beautiful tulips. I have to post this picture because I didn't get to take any pictures of them frolicking together at the park because, well, of that whole being-busy-letting-the-corporate-world-suck-my-soul-out-of-my-body-through-my-nose thing.

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Good Kitty

Asher's fascination with the cats is ever-increasing, and luckily, so far, their tolerance of him has remained. Sophie and Charlie mainly just ignore or run from him, but Sam is usually pretty sweet and lets Asher play with him a little bit. You know, until Asher does something like shrieks in his ear or pulls his tail or tramples over him.

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Missing My Niece

While on my quest to find what are apparently rare photos of me and Stephen as a couple, I've become distracted, as is typical of me. Heaven forbid I have a goal in mind and focus on it. Going through my photos, I've discovered that a large chunk of them are of Ella when she was a baby. The above picture particularly melted my heart - this was taken on Christmas Day of 2003, when Ella was about five weeks old. I remember during those first few months after she was born I was absolutely obsessed with that little girl - buying her clothes, thinking of her, visiting her almost every weekend, and even dreaming of her - Stephen said there were several times in the middle of the night I would tell him in my sleep to be careful not to roll over on the baby. I was so excited for each of her first milestones - her first crawl, her first teeth, her first steps, her first words. Anyway, this picture pretty much sums up how enamored with Ella I was.

Now Ella has been living in Virginia for over a year, and I haven't seen her in six months. I had a conversation with her on Easter, and I'm absolutely amazed by how much she's growing up. She is going to be starting kindergarten in the fall and turning six in November - how is this even possible?! I'd been okay with her living so far away up until the past week or two. I don't know why, maybe it was the conversation we had on Easter, but I've suddenly really been missing my little niece more than usual. Like, a TON. Like, so much that looking at these pictures of her is making me cry. I think the reality of her growing up and the distance is finally sinking in. I've been so crazy the past year with the chaos of being a new mom that I hadn't had much time or energy to really realize how much this sucks. I hate it that there's so much separation between us now. I hate it that I haven't seen her in half a year. I hate the thought that once she starts school, I will probably see even less of her. I hate it that Asher is missing out on developing a close relationship with his cousin.

I'm feeling a bit like when I was ten and Jamie was seven and I'd want to play with her Barbie doll. Back then, I could just take it away from her. Tell her to suck it up, or I wouldn't play with her. Oh yeah, and she has to play with the amputee Ken doll, too - I get the one with both legs.

Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure things might not be so simple anymore. I'm almost certain that stomping my feet and throwing myself down on the floor and screaming, "IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!" isn't going to help matters, either. Jamie, if you were looking for revenge regarding the Ken doll situation, I think you found it.

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Itsy Bitsy Spider

Here is a little snippet of Asher doing his moves to "The Itsy Bitsy Spider." You really have to look for it, but it's there - the twisting of the hands as Spider climbs up the waterspout, the lifting of the arms for the downpour of the rain and the appearance of the sun, the (very brief) twisting of the hands as Spider climbs back on, and then, after exerting much patience and restraint to cut the song short, applause.

So his execution isn't perfect. And my voice is terrible. I still think we put on a pretty kick-ass performance, though.

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Wal-Mart Baby

Stephen surprised me this evening with a nice little point-and-shoot camera that he got for a steal at Costco. I've been whining forever that I want a little camera I can stick in my purse, and I've been whining for even longer than that that I want a video camera. Well, the video camera will have to wait, but in the meantime, it's nice that I finally have a makeshift one in this camera that will actually record sound. Yes, one of our old cameras has a video recorder, but it doesn't record sound - can you believe that? What's the point?! I guess if you want to record your local street mime or Charlie Chaplin impersonator performing?

Of course, I was eager to try it out right away, so I shot a little clip of Asher playing with the Wal-Mart shopping cart the Easter Bunny gave to him that I put together this evening all by myself with no instructions. (The thing is sure to fall apart within the next three days.) Just as I suspected, that $12 toy is keeping him very entertained...he's got to be dizzy from the number of laps he's made around the house with it. After a half a lap in this shot, he gets distracted by Blue's Clues and has to stop and figure out what the hell Joe is singing about THIS time.

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Easter Bug

Asher spent his second Easter at NeeNee and PaPa's house, just like last year. Except this year, he was able to rip through his Easter baskets all by himself (almost), hunt for Easter eggs with a little bit (read: A LOT) of help, stay awake for all of the festivities, and partake of the bountiful Easter feast. Well, he could have, at least; of course, he didn't want to have even a bite of ham or a spoonful of sweet potato - we ended up giving him a cereal bar and Cheerios for dinner. Point being, he wasn't a little blob this year, so I think we all were able to have a lot more fun with the holiday this year than last.

We started off with a trip to the mall to visit the Easter Bunny on Easter Eve. Asher was less than enthusiastic about this, but I reminded him that if he was nice and visited with Mr. Bunny, he might stop by in the morning and drop off some goodies for him. Asher decided he would make the attempt and, after about ten minutes of NeeNee showing him how to tickle the bunny's ears and nose, Asher warmed up just enough to sit him on Mr. Bunny's lap for thirty seconds to snap one okay picture.

The next morning, Asher awoke to find his traumatic experience had paid off. There were two Easter baskets, a gift bag, a big toy, and a bike sitting in the middle of NeeNee's living room floor. He crawled down the stairs and stopped, gave me a quizzical look, and then toddled right on over and started digging things out. I was happy to see he was much more interested in gifts this time around, as compared to Christmas when I basically had to open all his gifts for him. The Easter Bunny hid eggs full of Rolo's and dollar bills around the house, but it turned out not to be the best environment for an egg hunt for a 15-month old because there evidently were far too many other interesting things to see and do other than look for stupid plastic eggs, things like playing with cat toys, or the lid to the trash can. After a few hours, I re-hid the eggs in the backyard and we had a second attempt at an egg hunt. Asher did much better due to fewer distractions; even though I still had to point almost all of them out to him, he did really well at picking them up and putting them in the basket. Of course, he's been practicing this skill for quite some time with his megabloks and a cookie tin.

Here are a bazillion pictures of Asher on Easter, mainly of him frolicking in the yard at NeeNee's, enjoying the so-so weather.

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