Our House = Giant Toilet

This picture was taken last night while we were doing our typical post-bath Naked Baby wrangling routine, during which Asher becomes even crazier and friskier than usual from the high he gets from being nude. It's usually a good 15-20 minute process, trying to wrestle him to the ground for moisturizing and pajama-ing in between spurts of him flying around the room on his hands and knees.

Asher threw in a little special bonus twist for us last night. Just a couple of minutes before this picture was taken, he piddled all over my hand, the floor, and his diaper as I was beginning to put his diaper on him. While that was being cleaned up and another diaper was being obtained, just after this picture was taken, Asher sat down and started playing with a toy and began grunting. Yep, it was his "POOPIES!" grunt. Luckily, it wasn't much more than a shart, but it was gross enough all the same.

It's funny because yesterday morning, I came downstairs and found kitty poopies on the dining room floor. Pottying outside of the litter box happens very rarely, but every great once in awhile, magical turds will appear on the floor, seeming to have popped up out of nowhere. I don't know if the litter box is occupied when another one of them has to go, and they feel like they can't hold it, or if they just do it to piss us off. My guess is it's to piss us off. All I know is, it's a damn good thing there's three of them so that I don't know who the culprit is.

Anyway, apparently yesterday none of our "children" were potty trained.

A big, huge thanks to Stephen for cleaning up all the poop. It takes a strong man to handle that kind of a crappy task.

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Asher's New Ride

About a month or so ago, our Chicco stroller bit the dust when Stephen ran over it in the garage. It had been collapsed and propped up against some boxes, but, apparently, at some point in the day it had fallen over. When he entered the garage, he didn't notice it and...el snappo. Luckily, I wasn't with him when it happened so I didn't freak out too much...although, it still sucked because it was a fairly expensive stroller that we got for next to nothing thanks to a gift card from my office. But it was an accident, and that's just my luck, so I mostly got over it. Mostly.

So, once again, Stephen has been on the prowl for a good deal on a good stroller. We've been to just about every place in town that sells strollers - which aren't that many. We were unable to find anything we really liked. It seemed like even the more expensive strollers just weren't that great. Everything was either too bulky, too wimpy, too wobbly, or just plain too ugly. Nothing that wasn't $300+ felt very solid and sturdy.

Stephen found some great reviews online for a certain line of Fisher Price strollers that aren't made anymore. Lo and behold, he stumbled across a website, AlbeeBaby.com, that not only had some really good deals, but had some really good deals on those discontinued Fisher Price Strollers. They originally sold for around $150 as travel systems, which is still a good price, but, because AlbeeBaby only bought the strollers and not the car seats, they were selling the strollers for just $35. I was apprehensive, but Stephen told me about the fantastic reviews and about the fact that the strollers are actually manufactured by Britax. In the end, I caved because they were so cheap. I figured I'd end up with a piece of crap no matter what, since I'd hated all the strollers I'd seen up to that point, but, this way, if it turned out to be crap, then at least I bought a cheap piece of crap instead of an expensive piece of crap.

We received the stroller on Saturday. Being a good parent and concerned consumer, I immediately took Asher and his new stroller to Clay Terrace for a little test drive (read: shopping) and - HALLELUJAH, PRAISE THE LORD - I love it! It rides so smoothly with its big wheels and shocks, and it's super light with its aluminum frame. Plus, it collapses with just one hand. Lots of strollers make that claim, but don't seem to live up to it (or I'm just too slow to figure them out). With this one, you press a button and - voila! - down it goes. Most importantly, I think the basket on this stroller is larger than the one on the Chicco. Awesome.

Sometimes, once in a blue moon, you can get something that you didn't pay for. Of course, we haven't even had it for a week, yet. It might fall apart over the weekend. If that happens, Asher is just going to have to suck it up, quit being such a big baby, and learn to walk already because I am DONE with stroller shopping.

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Baby Is Officially Capable of Destruction

I guess Asher truly is a boy at heart, finding great delight in ripping and shredding apart anything he can get his hands on. It's a good thing for him we're such pack rats and have two years worth of old magazines on which he can outlet some of his desire for destruction. Unfortunately, sometimes he likes to practice his new skills on things he shouldn't.

Case in point, the very valuable lesson I learned yesterday evening: turning your back on Baby for even just a matter of seconds while you grab something out of your adjacent closet that's three feet away from him could result in the horrible, tragic loss of all your toilet paper. Luckily, there wasn't much left on that particular roll; I shudder to think of the catastrophe that could have been on my hands had a fresh roll been out. Still...that was some perfectly good toilet paper, all gone down the toilet. Without even being properly used.

I guess the days of being able to leave Asher unattended for a couple of minutes at a time without fear of him getting into anything is all down the toilet, too.

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Nine Months Old

Asher has reached nine months in age, and has now officially been out in the world longer than he was in my tummy.

There really hasn't been a whole lot of "new" developments this month, as he's been spending most of his time perfecting old tricks, but one new trick he has mastered is clapping. He claps when he hears music (such as when he hears the "Hogan's Heroes" theme song - don't ask), he claps when he accomplishes something (such as when he knocks over the tower of blocks Daddy has built), he claps when he's happy (such as when he sees me, of course!), and sometimes he just claps to clap. He's perfected crawling and rarely army-crawls, anymore. His spends a ton of time standing up and taking steps while holding onto furniture or our legs. We're really having to watch our steps these days because if we stand still for even a moment, chances are good Asher will rush over and pounce on our legs. I've almost been knocked to the floor on a couple of occasions. He has learned to arch his back, which can be a real pain in the ass when you're trying to feed him or rock him before bed, and thinks that looking at the world upside down is pretty awesome. His facial expressions are becoming more complex and his babbling has increased; sometimes he even sounds like he's trying to speak in sentences. Slow, drunken pirate sentences, but sentences nonetheless.

Unfortunately, the volume of his voice has also increased. We were in Target the other day and Asher decided he did NOT want to ride in the cart anymore, that our making him sit in the cart was somehow the most brutal form of child abuse and he needed to announce it to the entire store by SCREAMING BLOODY MURDER. Stephen pointed out the fact that, hey, our kid is suddenly turning into that screaming kid we hate encountering out in public. We sure did see that one coming. He seems to be suffering from separation anxiety a little bit more than he ever has before, too. It's not really bad (yet?), but he is definitely more wary of going to people he isn't around on a daily basis and gets upset sometimes when one of us leaves the room. That said, he has also become more clingy this month. He will hug onto us when held and wants to climb on us all the time. I have to admit, I'm enjoying this probably more than I should. Of course I don't want him to throw tantrums every time I leave the room and not be social with other people, and I don't want to feel like I'm chained to him, but it does make you feel pretty special when you're one of his chosen people.

Asher had his nine-month checkup on Monday afternoon and, thankfully, no shots were involved this time, although we're still trying to decide if we want to get him a flu shot. (We probably should and probably will.) He weighed in at 20 pounds, 10 ounces (50th percentile for weight), and measured 29 inches long (75th percentile for height). I talked to his doctor about the sleeping and eating issues, and she just got a big grin and said he's being absolutely normal. She said that babies usually don't sleep soundly through the night. Younger babies can't really move around much and aren't that aware of their surroundings, so they wake up without their parents even knowing it, look around, get bored, and fall back to sleep. Older babies, though, not only are more mobile and aware of their surroundings, but they've also got the separation anxiety factor, too. So, he wakes up, starts playing, realizes he's alone in the dim room, and cries. Why don't the books put it that way? Instead, you get maybe he's got an ear infection, maybe he's teething, maybe he's spoiled, maybe he's sick...and on and on and on. With his eating, she said it's completely normal for his appetite to vary so much from day to day and to QUIT WORRYING ALREADY, he's not going to let himself starve. I don't think she knows how much better she made me feel that day. (And yes, Mom, I know you told me so.) So, he's normal, which is good, but we're obviously moving into a more difficult phase of babyhood...

Bring it on, Asher. BRING IT ON.

Here are Asher's September pictures.

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Autumn Kickoff

Mom and I have been talking about going to a pumpkin patch in the fall for the past few years, but for some reason we've never gotten around to it. Now that a child is in the picture, there's a little more motivation (read: obligation) to get off our butts and out of the house and do fun things together as a family. So, since Stephen sent Asher and me away to Mom's for the weekend, we saw it as a great opportunity to get in the spirit of Autumn and Halloween and spontaneously drove forty miles to Wabash to go to Campbell's Pumpkin Patch. Sure, there were closer pumpkin patches, but where is the adventure in that?

We were glad we made the trip. Campbell's had a very nice selection of pumpkins, a little gift shop, donkeys to freak the babies out, ducks to nibble your fingers off, hayrides, and a snack bar with my favorite: apple cider slushies. Mm. Not to mention, the weather was absolutely PERFECT. The only thing that sucked was that Stephen wasn't there, but we know he was having too much fun working to go on a stupid family outing.

Asher had a great time (minus the snorting donkey that scared the crap out of him) and was on his best behavior. He was even agreeable to posing with a bunch of pumpkins. As I was eagerly snapping photos of him, I wondered, why is it that babies and pumpkins look so darn cute together?

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Six Years Hitched

Yesterday was our sixth wedding anniversary and we may have possibly hit an all-time low on the romance scale. Asher and I spent the weekend at my mom's (again) while Stephen worked all weekend (again), so we didn't even get to spend the day together. We did enjoy a lovely dinner at the very fancy Olive Garden, complete with a delicious dessert of tiramisu, and the best part was we ate for FREE. You know, because we dined with my parents (who were nice enough to treat us, as usual). And the baby. ROMANTIC, I know.

But that's okay. Something I've learned about us over the years is that we simply aren't the romantic kind of people. Sure, we hold hands and are affectionate and say "I love you" to each other all the time. But we aren't very mushy about it. It's all sort of matter-of-fact. Maybe it's because we've been together for twelve years and are way past trying to impress one another or proving our love to the other. Really, though, I think it's largely to do with the fact that we're both very, very lazy. Romance takes a lot of time, energy, and effort that we just aren't willing to put forth.

I love our un-romantic life together, though. I love being with someone who lets me be me, no holds barred, and loves me nevertheless. I love not feeling like I have to be wearing make-up at all times, or shaving every day, or showering every day. I love being able to belch and fart full force without fear of judgment. Everything is out in the open, our life is boring and maybe even a little lame, but it's real. And sometimes smelly.

Now that we have a baby, life has become even more real. In the past year, I've been amazed at how much lack of sleep, stress, hormones, and a grumpy baby can affect a marriage. I'm very glad that we waited as long as we did before throwing a baby into the mix because, honestly? I can completely understand how marriages can end once kids are in the picture. I thought there was no way our relationship could ever be shaken until we brought that little munchkin home from the hospital. Whew. Let's just say that Stephen's patience is ASTOUNDING. But seriously, it's been both strange and wonderful for me to watch my doting husband become a doting father and to go from being a couple to a family. When I think of us dating back in high school, it feels like that was a lifetime ago. In a good way.

Happy anniversary, Stephen. Thank you for putting up with me, thank you for being a wonderful father to our child, and thank you most of all for laughing with me every time I toot on the leather seats in the car. That's what makes this marriage work. You are the best and I love you more than life itself, and I mean that in a totally non-mushy way.

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Upgrading the Menu

Asher is just shy of nine months old and, as I recently posted, it's becoming increasingly difficult to feed him. I'd read that many babies grow tired of the bland, soupy baby food around this age and desire a more mature diet. You know, foods that haven't been pureed to the point where you could suck it through a straw.

This evening I gave him one of his new stage three baby food dinners, chicken and country vegetables. It had little chunks of potatoes, carrots, and peas. Yum yum. This was by far the chunkiest food he's had so far; he's had tiny bits of bread, mashed potatoes, mushed fruit, and his snacky finger foods, but he hasn't had anything that's actually had firmer lumps in it large enough to chew or that doesn't just dissolve in your mouth. I figured he'd love this new textured food.

Wrong.

I don't think he quite knew what to do with those chunks. He moved them around his mouth for minutes with a sad look of confusion on his face. Do I swallow? Do I spit it out? Do I chew? I know, I'll GAG! And gag he did. Repeatedly. Until he cried and I gave up. I figured gagging was better than choking, though. Of course, he choked a little, too. But just a little.

So for now, I guess we're sticking with the mushy, but thicker, stuff, like mashed potatoes. He helped me eat these today at lunch and boy, he cannot get enough. He's also become quite the master of his puffs, too, often cramming several in his mouth at a time. We'll try sneaking in chunky food again soon, as I'm sure it's just going to be a matter of him getting used to it and figuring out what to do with those damn lumps.

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Our Little Butt-ler

The condition of the house has really been driving us nuts lately. All of the clutter, dust, cat fur, and dirty laundry piled sky high in the closets was too much for us to tackle on our own. So, we decided to hire some help.

In exchange for food, clothing, toys, and the understanding that we are his live, human jungle gyms, he assists with common household tasks, such as vacuuming and laundry.

Not always, but sometimes, he does insist on performing these duties in the buff. The nudity itself doesn't bother us so much as what can result from the nudity. For instance, while folding this very basket of laundry, Stephen came across a few items that were mysteriously wet in spots. I wonder how that could have happened...?

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Has He Suddenly Decided to Be a Typical Kid?

The past couple of days have not been easy days with Asher. Despite my last post - in which, as usual, I completely jinxed myself - regarding Asher easily drinking all of his bottles since we upgraded his bottle nipples, we are having to fight him to drink his bottles. Yes, we were having to fight him before, but the fight has become even more intense. A little playtime does not make him more open to finishing his beverage. He doesn't just blow raspberries at it anymore. He twists and arches his back and cries and swats the bottle away. UGH. Granted, after some pleading and coaxing, I was able to get him to drink three out of four bottles today, but it was HARD work. I think I lost three years off of my life expectancy just from today's bottle battles.

And, our little guy no longer wants to be a good eater, either. Used to be, he'd eat just about anything. Now he doesn't even want carrots or sweet potatoes or squash, which are his favorite non-fruit foods. I read that this is normal, that kids go through phases in which they're very picky or don't want to eat. One suggestion was to allow Baby to help in the feeding process. I was very apprehensive about this; I knew the mess that would be involved. But, once the crying and the fighting and the swatting of the spoon began, I decided to give it a try. I stripped him down to Diaper Baby, let him stick his fingers in the food and smear it all over the tray and his face, and even let him hold the spoon. All this he did. WHILE CRYING. I finally gave up on the food I wanted him to eat and gave him something I knew he'd eat: fruity yogurt and fruity cereal. I was frustrated he wasn't eating the well-balanced meal I'd thoughtfully prepared, but apparently there's a limit to the amount of carrots you can have flung at you, and then it's just like f**k it, here's some damn yogurt!

There are many, many days in which I feel heartbroken that he's growing so quickly. Today was not one of those days. Today was totally an aren't-you-at-least-ten-yet? day.

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One of the Many Joys of Parenthood

I think we may have fed Asher a little too much food this evening. Really, though, we didn't give him any more than we normally do, but I think he ate more than he normally does. See, we've been having a really hard time getting him to drink his bottles lately. He'll drink a couple of ounces, and then he squirms right out of our arms and wants to play. We'll then let him play for a few minutes, and then try to give him some more bottle, and the cycle repeats. It's a total pain in the ass. The other night, though, it struck me - DUH - maybe the reason he's losing interest in drinking from his bottle is because we're still using the medium flow nipples for 3-6 month old babies. So we switched last night to fast flow nipples and GUESS WHAT? He's finished every one of his bottles since. Miraculous.

This means, though, that he's eating more, and maybe "more" is too much. This evening, we gave him a bottle before we ate dinner, then gave him his solid food dinner after we were finished eating, and then a couple of hours later gave him his nighty-night bottle. I thought to myself as I started feeding him that he probably really didn't need this bottle; after all, it'd only been about three hours since his previous one was polished off and just over an hour since his dinner. But, he was enthusiastically gobbling it up - which he hasn't done in FOREVER - so I figured he somehow must have been hungry.

And then it happened. A sort of gurgling in his throat. I removed the bottle, wondering whether he was trying to cough, and...WOOSH!

Orange sherbet-colored projectile vomit. All over.

Poor little guy only cried for a minute, and then he was all happy and wanted to play again. We put him in the crib and he was content with watching us scrub up his half-digested dinner. It only took AN HOUR, plus a load of laundry (much of the vomit landed on the basket of blankets) and a trip to the dry cleaner tomorrow for the cream-colored chair cushions. I knew we should have paid the extra $30 at IKEA and gotten the chocolate brown, machine washable cushions. But no. Stephen said the off-white, dry-clean-only cushions would be just dandy. Oh Steve. You know what really pissed me off, though? The fact that I Google "cleaning vomit off carpet" and get a bazillion search results back, each one with a different suggestion. This is not helpful. Not only am I spending time Googling, I'm spending time weeding through each instruction, trying to figure out which one sounds the most logical, and, of course, every single one claims to be THE ONLY WAY to effectively remove vomit from carpeting. I finally gave up and grabbed the Resolve carpet cleaner, a bucket of soapy water, some baking soda, and a brush. If that didn't get it out of the fricking carpet, I may have to resort to fire.

It's funny...I had mentioned to Stephen when he went down to make Asher's bottle that, WOW, isn't this nice? Asher was going to be going to bed about an hour earlier than usual! And look what happened. Yet another example of why my mouth should be wired shut.

Anyway, I'm tired, and I smell like puke. I'm throwing the towel in and going to bed.

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One Crazy Bug

Asher has always been a wild man, and his craziness only seems to be getting worse. He's taken to "badgering" almost anything and everything in sight when he gets excited. This can be really cute, but can also be very painful if your face happens to be the chosen target. If you haven't seen this in person, Angela recently caught a good snippet of his badger-like ways on video. On top of his rawr-ing, head shaking, and attempting to fit his entire prey into his mouth, he's now added fart noises to the routine. It's both the most precious and disturbing thing I've ever witnessed.

I took the above picture this evening when he discovered his reflection in the mirror and promptly pounced on and devoured it.

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Asher Finally Meets His Lady

After a long eight and a half months, Asher finally got to meet Emerson yesterday at her first birthday party. The meeting wasn't quite as romantic as the below picture might indicate. It mainly consisted of Asher pulling out Em's pacifier, pawing and grabbing at her, and trying to climb her, with Em trying her best to push him away from her. It was cute, but I'm trying to teach Asher that if he continues to maul his dates, he's not going to get anywhere with them.

On second thought, maybe I should be hoping his badger-like ways continue at least into his mid-twenties.

Here are pictures from Em's big day!

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Fun with Aunt Jamie & Cousin Ella

My sister and niece have gone back to Virginia after having spent nearly three weeks in Indiana at my mom's visiting. It'd only been a couple of months since we'd seen them, but a couple of months is a long time for a baby. I think Asher enjoyed his visits with them more this time than he did back in early June, simply because he's developed so much since then. He is absolutely in awe of Cousin Ella. All of the commotion and chaos of a four year-old girl may drive us old geezers insane, but, to Asher, she is the most mesmerizing and fascinating creature that has ever appeared before his eyes. I think Ella is really happy that he finally pays attention to her, too; after all, she did wait patiently (and I use that term loosely) for nine months for his arrival, only to be greeted by a semi-conscious blob who wouldn't even look at her on command, let alone play with her. It's been fun watching the two of them play together and bond, and I'm sure the next time they visit they'll find even more mischief to make.

Jamie's photos from the zoo (Since I left my memory card at home, I didn't get to take any pictures - thanks for sharing them, Jamie!)

Photos from the Children's Museum (Some of Jamie's photos are mixed in, too.)

Photos from Chuck E. Cheese

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Latest Skills

This picture illustrates the two things Asher does all the time lately: blow raspberries and stand up. He is a constant ball of motion, and if you try to slow him down in any way, he'll show you his dissatisfaction. With lots of spit. It takes a ton of talent to do both at the same time, but Asher's been practicing so much lately that he has it down to a fine art. Notice how he not only can blow raspberries and stand up at the same time, but he can do it one handed. Amazing.

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Eight Months Old

Asher turned eight months old today. I don't want to make the usual, completely obvious statements that I normally make on these monthly updates - you know, "Gosh, I can't believe he's eight months old...it seems like only yesterday I cradled him in my belly...time sure does fly with a baby..." - but it's so hard not to. That's because IT'S TRUE! I think I keep thinking that the more I say it, the more life will want to prove me wrong and then time will suddenly slow down a bit. Unfortunately, I'm afraid this must be the one department of my life I can't seem to jinx. And, unfortunately, I'm really stubborn so I'll probably continue to make these same stupid comments on a daily basis for THE REST OF MY LIFE. And they say I have a hard time with letting go.

Asher has spent the past month keeping us on our toes. LITERALLY. He still mostly army-crawls, but is starting to big-baby crawl, and, either way he moves, HE IS QUICK. I've come close to stepping on him a couple of times because, like most kids, he loves to be underfoot. And the walker? I wouldn't be surprised if Stephen or I end up falling over him before he stops using it - if he's not looking out the window or chasing the cats in it, he uses it to be on our heels in the kitchen. Also, I've learned I really need to wear shoes around the house because that damn thing can hurt when he comes barreling at you in a full baby-run; my toes are going to be permanently deformed if I don't start making better attempts to protect them. He's started to climb the stairs and has, so far, been able to make it up two stairs before either getting frustrated or sliding back down to the bottom. He's pulling himself up on almost anything he can and is starting to make attempts at cruising, too. The other night while Stephen and I were dining at our usual spot - the coffee table in the living room, like all classy people - Asher discovered if he pulls himself up there, he has pretty good access to our dinner plates. Ooh, SQUISHY food, we LOVE squishy! Stephen seemed disappointed when he made the comment that we probably ought to start eating like civilized people in the dining room from now on. All of this plus the fact that he can sit up by himself, I think, has made an increase in his sense of independence. He's always been very active, he and his jimmy legs, but I think he's become even more squirmy and squirrely since he's learned to be more mobile. I try to hold him, but it's hard to because he's constantly trying move. Perhaps he's trying to break some world record of time spent in constant motion?

I know this contradicts the previous paragraph, but a good thing that has happened this month is SLEEP. (And, unlike life, sleep is a department I have a knack of jinxing, so I will word this very carefully.) We went for about a month and a half where he would NOT sleep through the night; many, many nights, poor Stephen would be up almost every hour putting Asher back to sleep. For the past few weeks, though, Asher has been a better sleeper. He still will wake up once or twice for a pacifier reinsertion, and occasionally Stephen will have to rock Asher back to sleep, but, in general, he's been much less maintenance during the night and is staying asleep much better than before. And, he's back to taking naps for Stephen during the day; there for awhile, Stephen seemed to be the only person unable to get Asher to take a nap. The novelty of having Daddy home with him during the day must have finally worn off, so now he's able to let himself let go of Daddy for a bit of sleepy.

We began giving Asher some finger foods this month, too, so he can begin to learn to self-feed. MESSY is an understatement. For some reason, poop isn't as gross when it comes from your own baby, spit-up isn't as gross when it comes from your own baby, but soggy, slimy mush that was once a piece of toast is just as disgusting as it would be from anyone else. I'm really not looking forward to full-fledged self-feeding. At least right now, we can just give him his finger foods in the evening, right before splishy-splash time. Would three baths a day be too ridiculous?

We've found that Asher is becoming more ticklish, which has led to more laughs in the house - and I can't complain about having more laughter around! There is truly nothing sweeter to me than the sound of my little boy laughing, and I often find myself tearing up when I hear it. He's become practically obsessed with the poor kitties, too; if he's not chasing them while crawling, he's chasing them in his walker. Poor Sophie was run over a couple of weeks ago! One good thing about it - they definitely motivate him to crawl all over the place, since they're constantly trying to flee his grasps. No crawling toys have been needed for Asher!

Asher made both his first trip to the zoo and to the museum last week. It's so much fun taking him places now because you can tell he's really interested in what he sees and studies things to try to figure them out. Those two trips have made me really excited about next summer when he's even more capable of enjoying activities like that. In the mean time, his next monthly update will mark month nine (EEK!) and the beginning of Fall. Pumpkin patch trips, first sips of apple cider, playing in pumpkin innards, and trick-or-treating, here we come!

AUGUST PICTURES ARE FINALLY HERE...

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A Day at the Zoo

Today was so much fun. I took the day off work. We got to spend time with my mom, Bob, Jamie, and Ella. We got to see a bunch of animals we don't see every day. Asher was in very good spirits the entire time, even with no naps. I remembered to put sunscreen on and managed to not get burned. I remembered to put sunscreen on Asher and he didn't get burned.

I spent close to an hour packing our bag for the day, and miraculously only forgot a few things. Of course, they couldn't have been minor things, like gum or hand lotion. No, if I'm going to forget something, I'm going to forget something. The first discovery was no juice. I brought two sippy cups, but no juice. Smart one. No big deal, though, since Asher really doesn't drink much juice. A half hour later I realize - huh - I remembered the formula, the bottles, and even plastic baggies in which to warm the water, but didn't remember one of the little venting pieces that goes with our Dr. Brown's bottles. And, of course, you can't use the bottles without the venting system, else you'll have quite the mess on your hands (and on your baby). So poor NeeNee and Aunt Jamie ran next door to the Walgreens and bought two bottles, bottle brushes, and dish soap so we could wash them in the Wendy's restaurant. There's nothing more sanitary than washing baby bottles in a Wendy's bathroom! Alright, so I got over that minor setback (thanks Mom!), we finally got to the zoo, and all was right with the world. I'm taking pictures - so excited to be using my new camera and even more excited that I actually remembered my camera for once! - when halfway through the ocean exhibit I realize THERE IS NO MEMORY CARD INSIDE THE CAMERA. Shit! Shit! Shit! F%&@ing shit! Luckily, Jamie and Mom had their cameras, but still...I'M PISSED! How is it that, no matter what, EVERY time we go someplace, I ALWAYS forget something. I can spend all day packing, can even make a checklist, but there will still be at least one thing I forget. IT NEVER FAILS.

All in all, though, the day went really well and we all had a great time. I think Asher enjoyed his first outing to the zoo. He was a wonderful boy the whole time, and it was so much fun watching him take everything in. I think his favorite part was the ocean exhibit, with all of the fast-moving colorful fish, sharks, penguins, dolphins, and sea lions. The grown-ups liked the plains animals the best - the giraffes, lions, elephants, tigers - you know, your typical big men on campus. We also liked getting to see the koalas, who are there only for a limited time, but we weren't extremely impressed because they were fast asleep. Ella, on the other hand, seemed most fascinated by Asher's stroller. Aunt Kimmie, can I push the stroller? How about now? Can I push Baby Asher? NOW? CAN I PUSH IT, PLEEEAAASE AUNT KIMMIE?! It didn't even matter if Baby Asher wasn't in the stroller, as long as she could push it. So, it's hard telling what her favorite animals were, but I can definitely tell you which part of the zoo was her least favorite: the petting zoo. She made it about halfway through and decided there would be hell to pay if she wasn't promptly escorted from the area because IT WAS STINKY! Girls will be girls, and she is most certainly ALL girl.

I'll post the pictures Jamie took as soon as I get them from her. We'll all be going to the Children's Museum on Thursday, and I damn well better remember the memory card this time. Let's just pray I remember the camera.

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He Stands!

Last night while in his crib, Asher nonchalantly sat up, grabbed the rails, pulled himself to his knees, and then pulled himself up to standing. I excitedly exclaimed for Stephen to look - Asher is standing! Then, Stephen nonchalantly said Asher had already done this for him on a few occasions over the past day or two.

Bastard.

It's okay, though. I witnessed the first times he rolled over and sat up on his own, and both times Stephen wasn't there to see it. So, I guess I can live with Stephen claiming this milestone. I guess...

I was able to catch it on camera tonight. What a little stinker butt!

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The Death of My Blogging Community

When I began blogging almost two years ago, it was because I really liked the idea of keeping an online journal that friends and family could read and keep themselves apprised of what (little) was going on in our lives. Since my pregnancy, I've used the blog mostly as a way to document Asher's life for him, us, and our loved ones. It's been an awesome way to share photos with grandparents and exchange baby-rearing wisdom with fellow moms. I know it's totally lame, but I get so happy each time someone leaves a comment on my posts. Sure, lots of people could be reading my blog, but how do I know if I never hear from those people? Not to mention, some of the comments I've received have seriously pulled me through the craziness of this year. So, if you love me, you will leave me a comment. (I'm going to be so distraught when I receive ZERO comments on this post.)

Much to my delight in the past two years, several friends and family began their own blogs. I love being able to click on a link and be taken into the "world" of my best friend, or my sister-in-law. Call me lazy, but it's awesome to be able to know what's going on with someone you care about without having to talk on the phone or e-mail, especially during this time of my life when being a full-time working mom with a very active seven month old makes it next to impossible to keep in touch in the traditional ways with people. To me, it makes the distance between me and other people much shorter. It's kind of like I get to experience a bit of their lives with them without physically being there.

Unfortunately, I've realized this week that nearly all of my linked blogs are dead and I fear that pretty soon I won't have any more blogs to peek in on. Most of my blogging community has gone MIA, and I'm pretty much left with two blogs to monitor. TWO! Satisfying my nosiness is going to be very difficult to do with only two blogs to read. People, for the love of God and everything holy, BLOG already! It's easy, it's a nice way to document your life - you know, if you don't mind everyone reading it, it's free, it keeps people connected, and, most importantly, it keeps me entertained. Lord knows I don't get much entertainment these days. Help a poor girl out - I'm lonely over here!

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He Sits!

While giving Asher a bath this evening, he did something incredible.

He sat up by himself.

He was playing on his tummy in a couple of inches of water with his ducks and fish and other various plastic animals that only seem to float well face-down like they're dead, when all of a sudden he just rolled to his side and sat up. No struggle, not even in the wet, slippery bathtub. Of course, he played on the floor for about an hour after his bath and not once did he sit up again on his own, but I know it wasn't just a fluke. He is capable!

I just don't know if I can keep up with this...it feels like one minute he was a blob, and the next he's this independent, mobile little person. At Grandfather and Marmie's house today, he showed Daddy his stair-climbing skills (last week he climbed two small steps there, but I was the only witness). He's getting up on his hands and knees more and more frequently "rocking," so we know it'll be a very short amount of time before he moves on from scooting to true crawling. He continues to try to pull himself up on us and other things. I had no idea he would make so many developments so quickly, and practically all at once.

The kid never fails to amaze me.

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Self Feeding (Sort Of)

Feeding Asher has become quite the chore. First we had the issue with the jimmy legs. Not only did we have to wrestle the jimmy legs into the highchair, we also had to continuously fight the one jimmy foot that liked to pop up over the tray when the big detachable tray wasn't in use. It seems that some babies like to mix in a little foot nibbling in-between bites of his food, which results in sweet potato toes that smear food all over the tray, high chair, other leg...pretty much all over the place. Not to mention, those feet are excellent at targeting the hand holding the food-filled spoon and kicking it as hard as possible, sending the spoon and/or food flying. His aim is awesome. Now that he's grown into his chair a bit and sits upright well on his own, though, we have conquered the crazy jimmy leg by putting the big tray on the chair. Whew!

Of course, the saying goes that when one door closes a window opens. So now that there is a block on the jimmy legs, the jimminess has apparently managed to escape the legs and travel north to the arms and hands. The jimmy arms and hands make the jimmy legs look tame. They want to grab the spoon. They want to grab the bowl. They want to grab Mommy's hands and wrestle the spoon away from her. They want to grab the food in the bowl. They want to slam their slimy little selves against the tray. I recently read that a good remedy for this is to give him his own spoon, that way he feels like he's part of the action, but I'm still in control of the REAL spoon. I haven't tried this yet, but definitely will give it a shot this weekend.

I also have started giving him finger foods to gnaw on, which has been absolutely wonderful at keeping him occupied and happy while we eat our meals. He's tried puffs, but has a hard time getting them out of his hands and into his mouth. Zwieback toast has been a HUGE hit with Asher. He seems to thoroughly enjoy gumming it into a disgusting, mushy mess. My hopes are that this will help Asher learn to chew and become accustomed to solid solid food, and that it will help reduce Stephen's crumb phobia (that's a whole different post).

I'm happy he's interested in eating, though. But I guess he's been very passionate about eating from the start, back when he was so violent with me during nursing. Like mother, like son.

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We're on to Climbing Already?!

Just as we're getting accustomed to Asher's newfound mobility in scooting around all over the place, he's already starting to hone some new talents to keep us on our toes. Like climbing. As in, climbing up the stairs. Granted, he hasn't quite mastered this yet, but it will be soon, oh yes. At Grandfather and Marmie's house on Saturday morning, Asher did manage to climb a couple of small steps in the guest room up to the adjacent reading room. These steps are about 3/4 the size of the steps in this picture, so it'll be no time at all that he'll be successful in his attempts to sneak his way upstairs on our staircase. YIKES! He's also starting to try to pull himself up on furniture and on us. Good grief...the kid is going to be walking before I know it, isn't he?

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I Had a Baby & Finally Have the Pics to Prove It

Not sure if you noticed or not, but I never made available the pictures that were taken at the hospital when Asher was born or the pictures from the month of January. What had happened was I lost all of those pictures when Stephen reformatted the computer mid-January. For some reason, the pictures suddenly became corrupt and the computer wouldn't open them. On top of that, I couldn't locate the memory card on which the "original" pictures were located. I was devastated. Then, after several weeks, I found the memory card - it had fallen into one of Asher's drawers. I gleefully bolted downstairs and put the card into the computer only to find a whopping eleven pictures on the card. Somehow, almost all of the pictures had been deleted off of it.

Luckily, Stephen had made a CD for my step-mom of these photos, and it finally occurred to us we could get the pictures back from this CD. DUH! So, this weekend, she brought us the CD and now I'm a happy girl again. I had been so sad thinking Asher's first month was gone forever!

Looking back through these, it feels like it's been ten forevers ago since they were taken. Our baby is so different than the one in those first few cold, gray weeks in January; it's amazing how much he's changed in just seven months.

For a trip down memory lane, here are photos from my hospital stay, and here are January's pictures.

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Some Good Cheese

This is what I've been listening to nonstop in the car this week. It's cheesy, but darn it, Junior Senior always puts a smile on my face. How could it not?

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Hair!

As adorable as it was, Asher is no longer sporting the balding man's mullet hairstyle that he was born with. Over the past few weeks, his hair has really started to fill in; although, his hair is so light that you have to be searching for it to see it. The exception to this is after bathtime when we put lotion on his head and his downy hair sticks out all over the place like he's jammed one of his slobbery fingers in a lightsocket.

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Little Scooter

Asher has definitely entered the curiosity-killed-the-cat phase of babyhood. He's always been extremely active, even when he was just a tiny little fetus with a crazy case of the jimmy legs. But now that he's got creeping down to a fine art, there's no stopping him. He's now crawling beyond the perimeters of one room at a time; if I leave him in the living room for two minutes, when I come back he'll often have crawled out into the foyer. I've finally placed covers on most of the electrical outlets that would be within his reach, which is a good thing, because today at lunch I caught him pawing at one. It seems like some of the most fascinating things right now to him are electrical cords, remote controls, telephones, the vacuum cleaner, computer keyboards, the camera, the breast pump (he thinks it's great fun to sneak over and yank the tubing out while I'm pumping), anything plastic or paper or tissue...Basically, everything you don't want your child to play with. He's so funny; he's constantly got this look of SURPRISE and EXCITEMENT on his face when he's creeping around, like the dog in the commercials panting, Oh boy oh boy oh boy - BACON!

He's a master of his walker now, too. Stephen was telling me yesterday that Asher was running in it after Sam. I thought he was exaggerating, so I put Asher in his walker at one end of the room and walked over to the other side of the room and called his name. Sure enough, the boy practically ran to me - you know, as much running as a walker will allow. He also likes us to stand him up - he'll stand with our assistance for several minutes at a time.

Yep, I think we've officially exited the safe, quiet, immobile months and have entered the scary and exhausting lifetime of mobility. I'm looking forward to it, but it'd probably be wise to go buy a baby gate for the stairs first.

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Better Late than Never...

I am SO belated in writing my congratulatory post to The Squinkors, it's embarrassing. I am the WORST SISTER-IN-LAW EVER. Especially considering the fact that Angela is providing another cousin for Asher to play with, you'd think I would be a little more vocal about my appreciation.

Yes, Angela and Jeff are going to have another baby at the end of January - we're so excited! I learned from one of their Twitter tweets that they will find out the gender on September 3. A girl would be nice for them since they already have a boy, but boys are so much fun that if there's another added to the bunch, we'll be thrilled. So basically, we're just ecstatic to be getting another baby! Asher is happy, too, because then he won't be the "baby" of the family anymore. Actually, her due date is perfect for me because, knowing me, I'll be feeling all nostalgic and sentimental in January since Asher will be turning a YEAR OLD. (YIKES!) It'll be good to have a newborn to love on at that time of year to kind of give me that baby fix I'll be craving.

I just know Rowan is going to LOVE having a little brother or sister to play with. He's such a good boy - when we were in Dayton last weekend, he was helping push Asher's stroller AND not once did he bully Asher. He'll be the perfect big brother, I just know it.

Congratulations, Brown Family! Angela, I need to see more pregnancy posts on your blog...you know, when you don't feel like death warmed over.

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Seven Months Old

Asher turned seven months old today. I thought time was flying before, but now he keeps us so busy that we can barely even pause to realize just how quickly it's passing. It feels like I just wrote his six month post yesterday, and I know I'll be writing his eight month post before I can blink my eyes.

One thing is for sure - things are definitely a lot happier around the house than they were a month ago. Nothing "good" has happened to cheer us up - Stephen hasn't had any job leads, the house is still going bye-bye, I'm busier than ever at work - but I think what has changed is our attitude. I wouldn't necessarily say our attitude has become more optimistic - we just aren't the "life is all butterflies and rainbows and unicorns and sunshine" kind of people. I think now that a little time has passed since Stephen lost his job and I have had to reluctantly continue working and Stephen has had to reluctantly become Mr. Mom, we realize that, OK, things aren't ideal. They aren't the way we planned them to be just over a year ago when I became pregnant. BUT, things aren't horrible, either. (Knock on wood.) The sky didn't turn black and rain frogs. We are learning to make the best of our situation and appreciate and focus on the positives in our lives. I'll admit, I've never been good with compromise so this has been pretty difficult, but I'm catching on. I've accepted the fact that I HAVE to work right now. But, I've also learned to remind myself when feeling down that this situation isn't going to last forever. It will either get better, which gives me something to look forward to, or it could get worse, in which case I need to appreciate and enjoy this time even more.

In other words, I guess you could say we've thrown our hands up in the air and said "Fuck It" to all the bad stuff.

So anyway, I've decided that Asher is just about the most amazing little creature I've ever encountered. I am totally in awe of how drastically and how quickly he has developed over his short seven months. It feels like forever while you're waiting for them to reach their little milestones, but once they start reaching them, you can't believe how quickly it happened. Take crawling, for instance. Granted, his crawling is still at the beginner's phase of army-style, but even still, the little booger is fast and determined. It felt like he was never going to reach this mobile phase, but now that we're here, it seems like only yesterday that he couldn't even hold his head up. Really, babies are incredible! Just over half a year old, and look at all the accomplishments. I'm so proud of him. On top of beginning to crawl, he's also beginning to sit up unsupported. It's so crazy to place him on the floor so he's sitting up, walk out of the room and put a load of laundry in the washer, and walk back in the room and find him still sitting there!

I will be honest, though; there are some things Asher has been doing lately that I'm not very fond of. For one, there's the problem he's been having with staying asleep through the night. BIG INCONVENIENCE, Asher. You were doing so well; what happened? We LOVED our sleepy baby and we miss him a ton! Then there's the PINCHING. Seriously, I'm completely shocked that Stephen and I don't have bruises and scratches covering the backs of our arms, necks, and faces. Of course he's not doing it intentionally - I don't know if he just likes the texture of FLESH squishing in his hands, or what - but it's still incredibly painful and I would love to be able to break this behavior. I've tried saying NO! or OW! in a really stern tone with a stern look on my face, but Asher apparently finds this funny. I've started trying to smack his hands when he does it - but, come on, he's a baby, so my smacks are more like taps and he just sort of looks at me like OOOH, is this a GAME?! Usually, I try combining the stern NO! while removing his hands, and this usually results in a giant cheesy grin on his face followed by another sharp pinch two seconds later. He's still a big hair puller, too, as illustrated above. It wouldn't bother me so much if he didn't have a hold stronger than vice grips coated with superglue. Not to mention, do you notice from the picture how he pushes me away with his feet while pulling my hair towards him? Ugh. I guess these are just things we have to learn to live with for now, while we keep making our unsuccessful attempts at scolding him and teaching him this is not good behavior. Let's hope he catches on before we become scarred and bald.

Another thing I've noticed this month is how much Asher's appearance is changing. He's looking more and more boyish, as opposed to just babyish. And hair! He's getting HAIR! SLOW DOWN, Asher Bug. There's plenty of time to get your handsome on; stay baby-cute a bit longer for Mommy, OK?

This has been a wonderful month. I know it sounds completely corny, but having Asher has made me appreciate life so much more. Not just my life, but life in general. How incredible is it that just a year ago my belly was just barely starting to look pregnant, and look at him now! How incredible is it that I grew something inside of me that can sit up, scoot around the floor, yank my hair and squeal in delight when I yelp in pain? I really don't think I'll ever be able to fully grasp the fact that I'm a mom. It's just too amazing to be true.

And no, I'm not on Prozac.

JULY PICTURES

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No Sleep for the Weary

Is he teething? Is he hot? Is he cold? Is he hungry? Did he have a bad dream? DOES HE JUST WANT TO TORMENT US TO THE POINT OF INSANITY?!

I don't know what the reason is, but Asher has been having a horrible time staying asleep at night lately.

He was a nearly perfect sleeper once we started putting him to sleep in his crib a month and a half ago. Then he had his vaccinations a couple of weeks ago. And then he had a cold. And ever since, his sleeping hasn't been the same. And neither has ours.

All this week (with the exception of Saturday night when we were away from home - GO FIGURE, he slept like baby - like our old baby, the one who'd sleep through the night) he has been waking up around 4:00 - sometimes earlier - and it's been taking a good 1/2 hour to an hour to get him to go back to sleep. Since Stephen is Mr. Mom these days, he's been awesome about getting up to take care of him. However, with the baby monitor still on, I can still hear the crying and sense Stephen's frustration. Forever plagued with a guilty conscience, I groggily drag myself out of bed and to Asher's room to see if I can help. I'll try rocking him, holding him, singing to him, changing his diaper, bribing him with a new car when he turns sixteen, but he cannot be fully consoled. So then I start throwing a sleepy stupor tantrum about how I can't live like this, how I have to get up in an hour, how the lack of sleep is KILLING me! Oh, the horror, the absolute horror! Then Stephen sends me back to bed while, being the gentleman he is, restraining himself from physically pushing me out of the room.

Anyway, we aren't sure what's going on with this restless baby of ours. But God, PLEASE DEAR LORD, help us figure it out. SOON. I had a strong urge to run over a bicyclist today because he was in my way and was wearing really dorky shorts. The lack of sleep probably isn't killing me, but it may kill someone else.

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Big Family Weekend

Finally, Stephen had a weekend off and we had plans to go somewhere and be around PEOPLE. What a concept! Granted, our plans were to go to Dayton to attend Grammy's 90th birthday party - maybe not the craziest, most exciting or exotic plans in the world - but it still counts as being social, dammit. We actually had a really good time, and Asher was SUCH a wonderful boy. I was so worried he'd freak out, being confined in the small club house with about 70 people, but he really seemed to thoroughly enjoy all of the attention, noise and hubbub and didn't get fussy until toward the end, after we'd been there for like five hours.

It's hard to believe Grammy is 90. It's hard to believe anyone could be 90 and still functioning so well. It was just barely over a year ago that she had her stroke and the doctors were fairly certain she wasn't going to make it. Ha! She's undergone lots of rehabilitation, but she's doing so well it's almost as if it never happened. If I make it to 70, I hope to be doing as well as she is at 90.

We stayed overnight with Angela, Jeff, and Rowan afterward, and, as usual, had a grand time visiting with them. It sucks living so far away from them...well, really we only live two hours away, but, with Stephen working on the weekends, visiting has become pretty much a rarity. There was lots of mommy talk, geek talk, and baby talk, and we even took a jaunt over to "Faketown" for lunch and ice cream.

Another big event was meeting Rowan's infamous girlfriend, Lola, and her mom, Emilee. It's funny how many of us bloggers scope out our friends' links to other people's blogs...there have been times I'll find myself on a complete stranger's blog, confused as to how I even got there...a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend...But I think it's so cool, getting to "know" these people you've never even met before. In a weird way, it kind of makes the world seem a little smaller and friendlier. Anyway, it was really great getting to finally meet Emilee and Lola, since, I'll be honest, I've been reading their blog on a regular basis since they were first linked to The Daily Squink, which was...well, I think around the time Lola and Rowan were born. That probably makes me sound pretty creepy, watching a stranger's kid grow up online, but I promise I'm a completely harmless crazy person.

So Asher got to spend a little time around some babies this weekend; albeit, they were all older then he is. He seems to be much more aware and interested in other babies than he was just a month or two ago. This means we really need to make an effort to arrange some play dates for him. Asher also got to hang out with some elders at Grammy's party, and I think he was just as fascinated with them as he was with the babies. So, I guess this also means we need to be making more trips to Dayton to visit Grammy and her friends. Baby needs friends, young and old!

Here are a few pics of our lovely family visit.

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Busy Doing Nothing

When Stephen was working full-time and Asher was spending his days at Grandfather Daycare, I didn't realize how much free time I had. I was alone for my hour and a half lunch break, and usually had one to two hours alone in the evening before they would get home. Now that Stephen is home during the days, we're back on our no-rest-for-the-weary schedule. I feel like I'm constantly ON, going going going, from 6 a.m. until almost midnight every day. Don't get me wrong - for once I'm NOT complaining - but this is a huge reason I've felt unable to keep up in the blogging world lately. Well, that, and the fact that we're pretty much boring. Really boring. I've gotten a few recent complaints regarding the fact that I haven't been a very loyal blogger and several Asher update requests, so I thought I'd cram a little blogging into my lunch break to try to keep the peace with my three or four readers.

We're still trying to bounce back from Asher's vaccinations last Monday and/or the cold he came down with last week. Two nights ago was the first night he'd slept through the night in a week, and he's still not napping as well as he usually does. Needless to say, Stephen and I have been dragging ourselves around like zombies. Thankfully, Asher seems to be on the mend, so hopefully life will include a bit more sleep for us soon. Asher has been in pretty good spirits, though, and he's as active as ever. He's creeping around and trying to crawl, and is starting to sit unsupported. I checked his gums yesterday and thought I may have felt a little sharp spot...but then again, two seconds later I felt and couldn't find anything. It doesn't help that he won't hold his head still for more than a nanosecond at a time, so my findings remain completely inconclusive for now.

Today, Asher is at Marmie's and will also be spending the night there so that Stephen can get some work done for his two part-time jobs. Notice I didn't say Asher is at Grandfather Daycare; unfortunately, Grandfather Daycare is no more...Grandfather had the AUDACITY to get a job! We're really happy for Joe, but we know Asher will miss those days of hanging out with Grandfather dearly.

There's nothing new to report on the job front for Stephen. As for me, I'm completely SWAMPED at work, so no news there, either. Nothing new is going on with the house. We haven't gone anywhere exciting, or done anything fun, or seen anyone (other than grandparents, of course) in I-don't-know-how-long. I told you, WE'RE BORING. But not necessarily completely by choice...we just can't seem to find the time, energy, or funds to be social or to do anything. So many other people seem to have no problems having a life...what is our deal? Are we parentally retarded? It feels like everything is so unorganized - from my desk at work, to my closet, to my mind. But, hey, this is nothing new, either. Seriously, what was I expecting - a baby would make me MORE organized? I am so funny.

All in all, though, things are good and we're happy. I know you'd probably never guess that from reading my blog, but really I just like to bitch a lot. We all have to be good at something, right?

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Approaching the End of Buzzy Seat Season

This was once a common sight in the Barr household: little Asher snoozing away in his buzzy seat. Now it's a rarity, but was amazingly caught on camera today by Stephen. He's now way too active to just fall asleep, but I guess when you refuse to nap for two days in a row it eventually catches up with you.

Asher's buzzy seat days are coming to a close, though, unfortunately. This evening while we were fixing dinner, Asher began crying and Stephen poked his head around the breakfast bar to check on him. Stephen started to laugh and told me to come have a look. Wouldn't you know it, Asher was on the floor, still partially strapped into the buzzy seat, with the seat tipped over on its side. He wasn't hurt at all, just startled. More than anything, he seemed completely irritated that the seat was still managing to hold onto him, despite his jumping overboard. Then Stephen proceeded to tell me that basically the same thing happened yesterday, too. Crap. Time to pack up the swing too, I'm afraid.

He's throwing himself out of his seats and he's really taking off with his newfound creeping skills. He's so darn active; he's constantly like a little fish flopping out of water. Thank God for the walker and exersaucer - those provide some much-needed restraint before he becomes totally mobile - but what happens once he starts walking? You mean we're actually supposed to toddle after him everywhere and keep an eye on him? Yikes. Who knew so much responsibility would be required in this whole baby thing?

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What a Crap Day

Don't let the picture fool you; just as I predicted in yesterday's post, today was not a good day.

(1) Asher awoke extra early this morning, starting around 4:30-5 a.m., crying. Not for a bottle, not because he was done sleeping, but just because he was grumpy or didn't feel well and wanted to sleep on someone. After much jumping out of bed and attempting to console him bedside, he got his way. And I got little sleep and a stiff back.

(2) During my early morning baby wrangling, I was mauled by my cat. Stupid-ass Charlie...I finally got Asher to sleep and laid him in his crib, tiptoed out of his room only to find Charlie and Sam had wandered in. I scooped Charlie up because he meows like a little beotch when you try to shoo him out and, instead, attempted to shoo Sam out. For some stupid-ass reason, this freaked Charlie out, so he mangled my upper left arm by springing off of it with his back claws. As I was left biting my knuckles to keep from yelping in pain, he meowed like a little beotch and galloped out of the room, which, of course, woke Asher up. Again. If you can tell from the below picture, I now have three perfect puncture wounds surrounded by a lovely bluish-purplish bruise. Sexy for summer wear!

(3) Asher fell off the guest bed today when Stephen turned his back for a short moment to grab his glasses. I was in the other room and when I heard the immediate screaming that followed the loud THUMP! I knew what had happened. Stephen felt awful. I told him at least he didn't fall from the stroller on the hard floor in the kitchen, face first. Not that that happened under my watchful eye, oh no...never.

(4) Asher would not take a nap today. Not at all. Surely that couldn't be because he doesn't trust us, after we had people stick needles in his legs yesterday and allowed him to plummet off the bed today?

(5) Work was awful. AWFUL. I ended up taking all day off yesterday because of some stuff Stephen had to get done for one of his jobs and because of Asher's doctor's appointment, and then I called in this morning because of Asher not feeling well and me not getting hardly any sleep. My desk was a disaster when I left it on Friday, and you should have seen it today. And my inbox! I shudder thinking about all of those wretched, unread e-mails. And then there's the stupid-ass "fires" that management thinks you should drop everything to tend to and then they have the audacity to get snippy with you on why something isn't done...WELL DUH! Um, perhaps if I was allowed, for once, to focus on my work-work instead of stupid-ass protocols or reports, THINGS WOULD GET DONE! I am BEYOND done with that place; if Stephen hadn't lost his job recently, I was ready to put my notice in today. I was so close to tears by the time I left today. I hate it that I allow that place to get to me like that, too. It's hard, though, because I just want to be with my little boy. It was murder having to leave him today when I knew he wasn't feeling well and, no matter how many times I tell myself otherwise, I can't help but feel like a bad mom for not being with him. I keep telling myself, this is temporary, you can leave soon! But I worry I won't be able to. Ugh. One of my attorneys gave me some excellent advice today when he told me to take some Valium. Seriously, I'm so high-strung lately, I really do wonder if I ought to get on some anti-anxiety medication. I'm so worried I'm going to blow a gasket one of these days, or that my poor heart is just going to explode from pumping so vigorously all day long. I've always had a short fuse, but since Asher was born...I don't even think a fuse exists at all anymore.

(6) Stephen received a notice that there's a certified letter awaiting him at the post office from his ex-employer. WHAT THE FLIP DO THOSE BASTARDS WANT?!

(7) Not one, but two pairs of my favorite pants somehow got dark stains on them during washing. WTF? The washing machine is supposed to produce clean clothes, not make them dirtier! Frick! So now I have to go buy new pants for a job I don't want to have to even go to, let alone dress for.

Lord, I pray tomorrow is much better. And if it's not, please lead me through and help me not to maim anyone. Not that I have anyone in mind, no, no one at all. Valium? Me? Really? Nah...

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