One of the Many Joys of Parenthood

I think we may have fed Asher a little too much food this evening. Really, though, we didn't give him any more than we normally do, but I think he ate more than he normally does. See, we've been having a really hard time getting him to drink his bottles lately. He'll drink a couple of ounces, and then he squirms right out of our arms and wants to play. We'll then let him play for a few minutes, and then try to give him some more bottle, and the cycle repeats. It's a total pain in the ass. The other night, though, it struck me - DUH - maybe the reason he's losing interest in drinking from his bottle is because we're still using the medium flow nipples for 3-6 month old babies. So we switched last night to fast flow nipples and GUESS WHAT? He's finished every one of his bottles since. Miraculous.

This means, though, that he's eating more, and maybe "more" is too much. This evening, we gave him a bottle before we ate dinner, then gave him his solid food dinner after we were finished eating, and then a couple of hours later gave him his nighty-night bottle. I thought to myself as I started feeding him that he probably really didn't need this bottle; after all, it'd only been about three hours since his previous one was polished off and just over an hour since his dinner. But, he was enthusiastically gobbling it up - which he hasn't done in FOREVER - so I figured he somehow must have been hungry.

And then it happened. A sort of gurgling in his throat. I removed the bottle, wondering whether he was trying to cough, and...WOOSH!

Orange sherbet-colored projectile vomit. All over.

Poor little guy only cried for a minute, and then he was all happy and wanted to play again. We put him in the crib and he was content with watching us scrub up his half-digested dinner. It only took AN HOUR, plus a load of laundry (much of the vomit landed on the basket of blankets) and a trip to the dry cleaner tomorrow for the cream-colored chair cushions. I knew we should have paid the extra $30 at IKEA and gotten the chocolate brown, machine washable cushions. But no. Stephen said the off-white, dry-clean-only cushions would be just dandy. Oh Steve. You know what really pissed me off, though? The fact that I Google "cleaning vomit off carpet" and get a bazillion search results back, each one with a different suggestion. This is not helpful. Not only am I spending time Googling, I'm spending time weeding through each instruction, trying to figure out which one sounds the most logical, and, of course, every single one claims to be THE ONLY WAY to effectively remove vomit from carpeting. I finally gave up and grabbed the Resolve carpet cleaner, a bucket of soapy water, some baking soda, and a brush. If that didn't get it out of the fricking carpet, I may have to resort to fire.

It's funny...I had mentioned to Stephen when he went down to make Asher's bottle that, WOW, isn't this nice? Asher was going to be going to bed about an hour earlier than usual! And look what happened. Yet another example of why my mouth should be wired shut.

Anyway, I'm tired, and I smell like puke. I'm throwing the towel in and going to bed.