Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Finally, My Laziness Has Paid Off

For those of you who know me well, my grooming routine is simple and comparative to that of a dog's: Springtime rolls around and I get my hair cut, while for Winter I let it grow out to keep my neck warm, then I pepper in a few trims in between for maintenance. However, my routine was MIA for quite some time - I hadn't had my hair cut in almost a year and a half. I'll admit - it's always been difficult to get myself motivated to get a haircut. Most people find a trip to the salon a soothing experience; I'm weird, I feel like it's an invasion of personal space. Pregnancy and a newborn baby were just easy added excuses for me to let it keep growing.

But as of tonight, Mrs. Scraggles is gone.

I came home from work this evening and decided my hair and I needed to do something to boost our relationship. I couldn't take it anymore. We'd both grown to hate each other. I was angry at how it was always in the way, always all over the place, looking awful and crazy. It was angry that I'd let the baby pull it all the time, that I'd become so ashamed of it that it had gotten to the point where I was wearing it in a ponytail almost every day. My hair became so upset with me, in fact, that a couple of months ago it started falling out. I know women's hair usually falls out after having a baby, but I had no idea my hair would be HALF as thick as it was pre-baby. It was disgusting, scraggly and an absolute mess. It had to go.

So, I drove my sorry hair over to the ever-so-fancy-schmancy Great Clips and told the girl I wanted it cut just barely below my shoulders. She was like, "Here?" I was like, "No, shorter." "Here?" "Um, shorter." Why are they always so scared to cut long hair? They must get a lot of crybabies under their scissors. She measured and determined if I went that "short" that she'd be cutting a good ten inches off, and would I be interested in donating it to Locks of Love? Of course I would! The thought had crossed my mind - I'd looked at their website - but I didn't think I had enough length to donate. Guess I was even frumpier than I'd thought!

Four good things came out of it. (1) My hair looks better. (2) I got to donate to a good cause. (3) I got a free haircut because of my donation. (4) I got an awesome excuse for my laziness, because now I can say I donated my hair and people will assume that's why I grew it long in the first place. And Asher was so cute when I got home. He kept looking at me, grinning while studying my face. You could just see the little wheels turning in his head, trying to figure out what was different about me. Like, I recognize you, Mommy, but you look like a much nicer and less crazy Mommy than before.

Yes, Asher. Less crazy is right. And maybe less grumpy, too. Slowly but surely, I'm finally beginning to feel like my old, pre-baby self again. Of course there are parts of me that are forever changed - and in GOOD ways. But there are some parts of me that have become very dark, very tense, very on-edge, very serious, and almost bitter since I've had the baby. I think a big part of the problem is that I've let too much of myself go. I'm a big believer that when you have kids, you are supposed to put them and their needs way ahead of yours. If you have to go without in order to provide for your children, well, suck it up because that's just a given in parenthood. But there are some things I've given up that I shouldn't have to, things that no one asked or wanted me to give up. Hell, remember in the beginning I'd all but given up on showering there for awhile - I just didn't think it was allowed. How dare I leave my baby for 10 minutes for a shower! How selfish of me! Luckily for everyone, I wised up on that one. I'm still shaky on some things, though. Finding time for haircuts, shaving, ironing my clothes, changing the sheets on my bed, painting my nails, tweezing my eyebrows...these, too, are small things I'm gradually learning to take back. The more I take back, the happier I feel. It's like I'm not just Momzilla anymore - I'm becoming a woman again! And that's why it's important not to completely lose yourself in the chaos of motherhood - everyone will suffer, because you'll be miserable and boy-oh-boy will it show.

I'm sure Stephen will be happy when I take sex back. Baby steps, Stephen; I've got to take baby steps. Let me re-master shaving first.

6 comments:

Laurie from Laurie Jones Home 5/20/2008 11:38 PM  

Kim you look fantastic, I am loving your new do! Although I've only seen photos I loved your long hair too and was envious of how fast it seems to grow. Again, you look smoking hot woman!

Laurie from Laurie Jones Home 5/20/2008 11:40 PM  

Oh wait a second, woman, I just remembered, you really have entered mommyhood, check the rules, after having a baby, one must cut their hair. Promise me you won't get a perm!

Dawn 5/21/2008 8:08 AM  

Love the hair cut! I'm a big fan of short dos. Mine is coming off after the season of humidity!

Dawn 5/21/2008 12:59 PM  

Forgot to tell you...my hair fell out until about a month after I stopped breastfeeding! I was shedding worse than the dog! Now, I have all of this crazy baby hair growing in and it looks like I have a second set of bangs that are curly and are too short to straighten. It looks like Emerson tried to cut my bangs!

Anonymous,  5/21/2008 8:09 PM  

I love your hair Kim! You look like one hot mamma!

Joe 5/22/2008 8:33 PM  

Your picture is very sexy. But, of course, I'm partial to short hair. Ask Angela.

Maryann

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