Splishy Splash

Just a snippet of some of the high jinks that goes on during bathtime.

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Funny Elmo

At the end of last summer, Mom bought this Elmo sprinkler mat that was on clearance for Asher to enjoy this summer. I finally took it out of the box this evening and Asher was completely fascinated with this huge, plastic cut-out of Elmo. He spent a good ten minutes running over it, laughing hysterically. I caught this little snippet just before he pooped himself out.

I'm sure once we hook it up to the hose and water is sprinkling out of it, once we're using it as intended, he'll want nothing to do with Elmo anymore.

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NeeNee The Corruptor Strikes Again

When my sister and I were little, we loved it when Mom would make us a special treat of coffee milk - basically, half milk, half coffee, with sugar, of course! I still to this day LOVE coffee milk.

During brunch on Sunday, Ella got her mug of coffee milk, while Asher got his sippy cup of juice. Apparently, NeeNee found this to be highly unfair. This was not surprising, considering the fact that I was chastised for being an unfun mom at Bob Evan's the morning before because I ordered Asher white milk instead of chocolate and informed her he never gets chocolate milk, unless it's just a drink from my glass. It's not that I'm anti-sugar, or anti-junk food - I'm a believer that if you're too strict about things like that, it could easily backfire. But, I figure while I'm still making his food choices for him, before he can tell me what he wants, I'll try to be as healthy as I can. You know, as healthy as you can be with a steady diet of chicken nuggets, french fries, and no vegetables. Anyway, NeeNee decided it was time to break out the ultra-dorky-but-funny cowboy coffee mug we found for Cowboy Asher at Goodwill last year and give Asher his first mug of delicious coffee milk. At least I can say it was decaf.

Asher thought it was the BEST STUFF EVER. He couldn't suck it fast enough. And guess what happened not more than twenty minutes later? Yep - poopies.

First ice cream, then soda, now coffee. What's next? Beer? Cigarettes? Porn?

It's no wonder why kids love their grandparents so darn much.

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A Goodbye Letter

My Dearest Twenties,

Well, here we are. The end of our journey together. I hoped one day we'd reach this point - after all, I knew if we didn't, that would only be because I was dead. But I never imagined how quickly the ending would come. Like a good book, you want to reach the end, but at the same time, you want to hold on and savor every page of that story. At least with a good book, though, you don't gain gray hairs or wrinkles, or find that your boobs hang just a little lower at the end.

You gave me a lot of special memories that I'll cherish my whole lifetime: college graduation, marriage, getting the first pet of my very own, gaining nieces and nephews, buying my first house, having my first child. We had our share of heartache along the way, too: losing a beloved grandmother, losing a beloved first pet, losing a couple of childhood pets, financial struggles, losing our first home. We've made dear friends along the way, people who have helped us reach this point, people who have pulled me off the roof of the building just as I was about to jump. We successfully grew out of those teenage years and attitude and realized how important family truly is. You've taught me responsibility, patience, and forgiveness.

I'm sad to see you go, it's true - it's kind of scary leaving the comfort zone of that young adult stage - but I'm hopeful that my thirties will hold good things for me. I'm hopeful that I'll have the chance to write a goodbye letter to my thirties one day, too, but I'm going to savor each day, one at a time, and try to make the decade last as long as possible.

P.S. I am willing to let you keep the gray hairs that have started to sprout, if you will let me keep my twenty-something boobs.

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Big Sister Cousins Are Awesome

My sister and niece have FINALLY come home from Virginia for a visit! We hadn't seen them since Thanksgiving - which is way too long to go without seeing your sister and niece, if you ask me. This had been the longest amount of time I've ever gone without seeing either Jamie or Ella, and I didn't like it one bit. When you've been apart from most people for that long, I always think it's kind of awkward at first when you see each other. But nope, not with them. Ella came barging into my bedroom and started yapping away to me like she just saw me yesterday, and Jamie and I acted as bored as usual to see each other. That's the great thing about family - you don't have to pretend.

Asher was SO excited to be around Ella. They arrived by train SUPER early on Saturday morning (around 5 a.m.), so Asher and I were still in bed when they got to our house. They came in and woke us up just before eight, and usually Asher is a total grumpersaurus if you wake him up. But the second he flopped over and saw Ella's face, he sat straight up, got a huge cheeky grin, and started kicking his crazy legs like mad. And that's pretty much how he was the whole time around her.

We have lots of fun things planned for their visit home. This Friday, we're going to The Children's Museum, next Thursday we're going to the zoo, and next Friday we're going to make some pottery and go to Chuck E. Cheese. I love it when Jamie and Ella visit. Not only is it awesome to see them, but we all actually go out and do activities as a family. Who knew I'd miss doing things together as a family so much? Ten years ago, going to Chuck E. Cheese with my parents and sister would have sounded like cruel and unusual punishment.

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40 Years Strong

I love my husband to pieces. I really, really do. We began dating our senior year of high school, dated all through college, married after six years of dating, and now have been married for seven years. As much as I'm still in love with him as I ever was, I can't imagine being married to him for forty years. Of course, I can't even imagine myself living for forty years! I guess the next ten years will prove if I can even handle that, let alone maintain my marriage vows.

Stephen's wonderful parents have successfully survived forty years of marriage, and who knows? I think they could survive forty more. If nothing else, I think they'd do it just to drive each other insane. Really, though, this is an amazing feat in this day when the divorce rate is taking over the lead from the rate of successful marriages - I'm really proud of them.

Our gift to them was to "loan" them our baby for a couple of nights this week. Asher will be spending tonight and Wednesday night with them. Nothing puts you in the mood quite like chasing around a toddler all day. Which is exactly the point, Maryann: maybe Joe will leave you alone tonight and you can get some rest!

Happy slightly belated anniversary to my favorite in-laws!

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Screaming Match

Stephen has informed me that he and Asher have a new game they play, primarily when they're out shopping. It's basically nothing more than Asher pulling Stephen in so they're nose-to-nose, and then proceeding to scream their heads off at each other. I got to witness a snippet of this tonight. Stephen said that this was a very weakened version of the game because Asher was distracted by other things going on; normally, they yell a lot louder at each other.

The next time you're at Target and get annoyed by the sounds of a screaming toddler off in the distance, it's probably just Stephen and Asher, duking it out.

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Seventeen Months Old

Our little monkey bug turned seventeen months old today. He celebrated by having a frozen fruit sorbet after dinner, helping Mommy with the laundry, and spoon-feeding himself yogurt before bedtime. It was a pretty low-key evening, but that's just how Asher rolls.

Asher's comprehension continues to amaze me with each day. I tell him to stand up, and he stands. I tell him to bring me a book, and he'll walk over to his bin of books, pick one out, and bring it to me. I tell him to find his ball, and he starts searching the room for his ball. The other evening while he was eating some crackers, I asked him where Elmo was on the box. Imagine this - he pointed to him! This evening I was reading Parents Magazine and, of course, he started whining because I wasn't paying full attention to him. So, I leaned over and asked him - where is the baby? where is the little girl? where is the cow? - and HOLY CRAP he knew! He pointed to each one without a mistake. The best one was when I showed him a picture of a man and a toddler and asked him to point to the daddy in the picture. Asher looked around, then looked up and pointed to Stephen. Oh, Son. Sometimes I think it really is possible to be too cute.

A big reason why I think I'm so impressed and relieved and shocked by Asher's comprehension is the fact that he STILL isn't talking. I know, I know - kids all develop at different rates, and I've read a million times that some babies don't say their real first words until around age 2. Asher can say mama, dada, and papa, and he does speak a lot of his own mumbo-jumbo language, and sometimes he'll try to imitate words, but I haven't heard any concrete English words, yet. Well, supposedly a couple of weeks ago he said kitty twice, but I've yet to hear it. I know I'm just a worrier - it's in my nature to think the worst and anyone who knows me knows I have zero patience. I've been very good, though, about not expressing this concern to Asher or pushing him too much. I just try to talk, talk, talk to him as much as I can, and keep that pacifier out of his mouth as much as possible when he doesn't appear to need it. Which is another thing some people have questioned me about - OH HE STILL USES A PACIFIER?! Good grief, really? Is THAT what I need to be fretting about? I always provide the same, vague answer of you have to pick your battles, and this isn't one I feel needs fighting right now. Maybe this is because I was a thumb-sucker for many years beyond what most would consider "normal." I couldn't fall asleep without it. I was scared of the dark, scared of going to sleep, scared of ghosts, scared of burglars, scared of everything under the moon, and the one thing that brought me comfort was my thumb. So be it. My mom never pushed me to give it up and never made me feel bad about it, although I can remember I felt very ashamed and embarassed about my dark little secret. Maybe that's why I was such a good kid and never did drugs or smoked or had sex - I had my addictions fulfilled in my thumb! What really strikes me as funny is that some of these people who have given me a hard time about his pacifier are the same people who in previous conversations belittled me for my beliefs in the importance of breastfeeding or putting my newborn baby to sleep on his back. Okay, so your priority is ridding your baby of his sucking needs; my priority is my baby's safety and health. By the way, annoying-judgmental-person, did you know sucking on a pacifier can help reduce the risk of SIDS? Oh wait, you also think placing a baby to sleep on his back to reduce the risk of SIDS is ridiculous, sorry!

I'm so fired up about something so minor, and just think - this is just the tip of the iceberg of all of the unwanted advice and opinions and criticism I'm going to receive regarding my parenting skills (or lack thereof). The real issue here lies not in Asher's pacifier, but rather in how to prevent myself from committing a very serious crime.

The picky eating issue continues to rear its ugly head and gnaw on that one last little nerve I still possess. This is the current list of foods that Asher will eat on a regular basis: chicken nuggets, fish sticks, grilled cheese, oatmeal, cereal bars, cereal, bananas, watermelon, applesauce, cheese (only if it's orange in color), french fries, corn, yogurt, crackers, and chicken noodle soup. I know it could be worse and it's a fairly good list, but when you spread these foods over three meals a day, every day of the week, it turns out to not be a very big variety. We continue to offer as much variety as we can, but just getting him to try a new food - let alone him liking it - is all so very hit-and-miss that it's easy to fall back on the same old foods. We tried peas for the hundredth time tonight. He wouldn't let even one past his lips, and we were punished with spitty raspberries. Lima beans he tried and seemed to like the first time I gave it to him; now he won't even bring himself to touch them. Grapes, we've tried unsuccessfully a couple of times before, but last night we gave him some (sliced) and he somewhat reluctantly ate a few. I know it's normal, I know we're doing all we can do, but ARGH.

Child, eat your peas! Mommy is going gray over the fact that you go DAYS without eating ANY vegetables!


Despite a nasty cold and his first almost-ear infection (the doctor said he was showing signs of one starting), Asher is doing really well. Once the lump in his gums gives birth to a tooth, he'll be up to ten chompers. He's energetic, climbing all over everything he can, running from here to there and everywhere. He does whine and fuss - he is a toddler! - but he is mostly a very happy, smiley little guy. Stephen puts it best when he says that Asher makes friends everywhere he goes. He loves everyone and I think he makes the world a tiny bit better every time he flashes one of his charming, cheesy smiles to the grumpy checkout lady at Wal-Mart or waves bye-bye to some lonely old man at McDonald's. Those are the times when I could care less that he has a pacifier stuck in his mouth or has eaten chicken nuggets for lunch the past three days straight. He's happy and healthy and all mine, and that's all that matters!

Here are his pictures from the past month.

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Bye Bye, Wesley

Stephen's younger brother, Wesley, was home for the past week and a half from San Francisco visiting family and friends. We were able to visit with him briefly on several occasions during his stay, but, unfortunately, between my working, not feeling well, and Asher's sometimes-not-so-pleasant disposition, we didn't get to spend a whole lot of time with him. No going out for a drink or to English Ivy's for some kick-ass bar food. Bummer.

We were happy to learn that he's planning on coming back for Christmas, though, so we won't have to wait a whole year before seeing him again. I'm sure Asher will be very happy about this. Uncle Wes and Asher seemed to get along really well - they watched Thomas the Tank Engine and Ernest Goes to Jail together, lunched together, and Uncle Wes even read to him. It was the cutest thing ever.

We look forward to seeing you later this year, Wesley - thanks for visiting us! Maybe we can plan a little trip out west before that...Lord knows we could use a vacation!

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Dinner Time Isn't Always Painful

I know I tend to make it sound like Asher never eats anything, which is often the way it feels to me. But, there are some joyous occasions when he surprises me and totally pigs out on something weird like fish sticks or lima beans.

Below is a video of Asher chowing down on my corn-on-the-cob during dinner with my parents yesterday evening. Asher had his own corn, which I cut off the cob for him, but my rod of corny bliss must have been much more appetizing to him, as he whined for it until I finally handed it over to him. There is also some riveting discussion in the background regarding my step-dad's ability to take pictures with his cell phone. At least, Asher finds it pretty amusing for a couple of seconds.

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There Are Some Things in Life That Make No Sense, and Sometimes Those Things Are in My House

I'm, thankfully, feeling lots better today, so I went back to work, both at the office and at home. I'm not quite sure yet which has been a scarier task, but I'm beginning to think it's the home stuff. At the office, I really only missed two days, because my four-day yuckfest fell on a weekend. But at home...well, we all know there's no such thing as a "weekend" from housework, so I've fallen four days behind on laundry, vacuuming, cleaning, and tidying up. And before you start rolling your pretty little eyes, Stephen, because I KNOW you are, for once I am not ripping on your not-always-sweet housekeeping skills. You worked a ton of hours over the weekend, and when you weren't working, you were busy being a doting father and husband, taking care of your sick boy and wife. You had no time for housework, either. You are a good man and we love you!

So, anyway, I come home from work and begin to feed the cats and notice that, hanging on the banana rack - WHICH, I might add, I fully give credit to Stephen for not only using but for also purchasing on his own, with no prompting from me - are a bunch of nicely ripened bananas - WHICH, I also add, were purchased by Stephen the last time he went to the grocery store. And below these bananas are not one, but two halves of bananas. And next to those halves? (Here is where my panties get in a bit of a bunch.) A PERFECTLY CLEAN BANANA SAVER.

Wait - what's a banana saver, you might wonder? Well, it's this nifty little plastic clip thingy that you put over the end of a cut banana, which keeps the air off of the banana, and keeps it from going bad so quickly. So...it makes perfect sense that the banana halves are laying next to the banana saver, right?

Okay, okay, so maybe the banana saver was dirty when the first banana was cut. But that doesn't explain why there are still TWO banana halves laying on the kitchen counter. If the first half was too yucky to eat this morning - because as you can see, it's turning black, and when I picked it up to throw it away, it was definitely mushy - why wouldn't you just throw it out? Why would you keep it there, and lay the fresher half right next to it? Are we intentionally trying to attract fruit flies? I DON'T GET IT.

Stephen, any insight you can provide on this matter would be greatly appreciated.

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Blech Weekend

Normally I completely dread Mondays, but I'm actually looking forward to moving past this weekend. Both Asher and I have been sick, and to make matters worse, Stephen had to work ALL day both days this weekend (it's 10:00 right now and he still isn't home), so I've had to suck it up and try to pretend like I didn't want to just crawl in a hole and die. Yesterday wasn't too bad...I was feeling alright enough to take Asher for an hour-long walk around the neighborhood, so at least we got out of the house for a little bit. Today, though, was another story. My ears have been all stuffed-up, my head feels like it is going to implode, and my throat has been really itchy and scratchy. I've spent much of the day moping around the house. Asher took a four-hour nap, which would have been lovely if I'd been able to fall asleep, too. My stupid sinuses kept me awake the whole time. Ugh.

The funny thing is how much better kids seem to handle being sick than adults. Asher was whiny and you could tell he didn't feel good, but he was just as active and ornery as ever. Here I had been thinking we could at least be a couple of couch potatoes together, but NO. Asher took full advantage of the fact that I was miserable and pulled all the DVD's out, drug tons of food out of the pantry, ripped all his flashcards out of their box TWICE (what he was doing in the below picture), discovered the third shelf of big kid books on his bookcase - which he's never touched before - and pulled half the books off of it...I sat there, weakly muttering, "Asher no..." but he knew he could totally get away with it today.

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A Rare Photo of the Three of Us Together

I've hung close to a trillion photos in our house over the past couple of months and have discovered something strange - there is a disturbingly low number of photos of the three of us together. There is no shortage in the number of Asher pictures (duh). There is a good amount of pictures of Stephen with Asher, and a fair number of pictures of me with Asher. But of the three of us, together? Honestly, I think the last picture that was taken of our family was from July. Sad, sad, sad.

My goal is to have more pictures taken of us, which may involve me harassing you to be the photographer. This photo was taken by my mom the day before Mother's Day. Next time, maybe I'll be smart enough to suggest we face something other than the sun in our photo.

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Think This Is Bad? You Should See the Other Guy

My baby niece has recently lost her first tooth! Okay, seriously - didn't she just get teeth? I mean, my memory of her being all gummy and toothless is still pretty strong. For crying out loud...I guess she is five and a half!

Thanks to my sister for sending this picture. I hear Ella is very proud of her new hooligan-smile. She should be. The little stinker couldn't be any cuter!

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Where Would We Be Without Mommies?

This was my second Mother's Day as a mom. We did nothing too crazy, just went to my mom's for the weekend, ate a lot of good food, did some serious napping - the usual stuff we do when we go home. I've got to say I'm feeling a lot more comfortable in my role as Mom than I was feeling last year; I definitely feel like a mom now, and although I can't say I've completely got my shit together, I feel like I'm handling the mess of life a lot better than I was a year ago. Motherhood still seemed pretty crazy and unknown last year. I've now gotten to know that craziness extremely well and have become best friends with it; in fact, I'm not sure how I ever functioned without it.

I have to give many thanks to my mom for the wonderful job she's always done in dealing with the chaos of motherhood. I could not have asked for a better mom, not only for myself, but for Asher, too. I feel like I'm doing a pretty darn good job so far of being a mom, and a huge reason for that is because my mother was such a good role model for me when I was growing up. She is still the first person I turn to for advice and reassurance with my own parenting - she always seems to have all the right answers and, no matter what, she always makes me feel 110% better. Always. I think that, right there, is a huge sign that you're an excellent mother - when even at thirty years old, your child still fully believes that you are one of the wisest people to have ever walked the planet. Of course, it could also just be a huge sign that you've done a perfect job of brainwashing your child, but at this point, does it really matter? Someone thinks you rock - that's all that counts!

Thanks to all the moms out there for all the hard work you do. Mothers really do make the world a better, brighter, and less scary place!

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Just Another Typical Meal with Asher

Tonight for dinner we had grilled hotdogs, a delicacy offered a couple of times previously to Mr. Barr with unfavorable results. We even served it outside on the deck since the weather was so lovely. Unfortunately, he made his distaste for this supposed "kid-friendly" food apparent, once again. Only this time, all the neighbors now know not to invite Asher over to their house on beans 'n' wienies night.

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Still Totally in Shock

My BFF Laurie informed me five or six weeks ago that she was pregnant, and I was completely thrilled for her. For one, I know how much she's been wanting another child. Second, I know she's a wonderful mother. Her ten-year old daughter, Sloan, is honestly the sweetest, most caring, most well-behaved child I've ever encountered; it's pretty obvious that Laurie does great work in the parenting department. And three, well, it's selfish, but I felt she needed to have children closer in age to my child. Don't get me wrong - I absolutely adore Sloan and am totally looking forward to the day when I can use her babysitting services. But Laurie had already been waaaaay past the diaper and sleep deprivation stage by the time I had Asher. I can use all the friends I can get to be down in the baby trenches with me.

As if that isn't exciting enough, I read her blog last night and discovered some VERY interesting news...she had an ultrasound done yesterday and found out that she will need to purchase not one, but TWO car seats - she's having TWINS! How freakin' cool is that?! I had to read her post about three times and stare at the ultrasound picture for five minutes for it to finally sink in. Wow!

I am so very happy for her and her family. I can't wait for more pregnancy updates!

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Baby Continues Quest for Danger & Driving Mother to Insanity

So I come home from work and inform Stephen I have to go to the bathroom. On my way upstairs, I become distracted by the fact that all the windows in the house were closed. It's a gorgeous day for once, and no open windows - madness! While I'm opening windows, Asher follows me upstairs. I shout down to Stephen, look, I've really gotta go bad, you're going to have to watch him or something. Then I think I hear him get up off his butt downstairs, so I leave the room and conduct my business.

I come out of the bathroom and find the above. Baby sitting on top of desk, COMPLETELY unattended. No daddy to be found. What is not captured in this fine parenting moment is the fact that he had a large paperclip hanging out of his mouth, too. I was smart enough to yank that out of his mouth and yell at Stephen for not coming upstairs before snapping this shot. And his excuse? He thought I was taking Asher in the bathroom with me, and since Asher was completely silent during that time, he had no idea he was up here alone. Yeah, he was silent...BECAUSE HE WAS BUSY EATING PAPER CLIPS!

Can you just see the pure orneriness oozing out of this child's face? All I'm saying is, if you look up "stinker" in the dictionary, it's not a skunk's picture you'll find. I lost track of the number of times he climbed up on the desk this evening. And there's the climbing on top of the coffee table, out of the bathtub, on top of his toy basket...Evidently, we're in the climbing stage. Yippee.

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No Time for Clothes

Dressing Asher is usually a fairly difficult task; Heaven forbid he sit still for three minutes. We typically have to chase him down to get his pants on him, corner him to put that second sock on, tackle him to get his shirt on over his head. And I don't even want to discuss the wrestling matches involved in diaper changes. Yesterday was no exception. For some reason, I could not get that second sleeve on him. I may as well have been trying to dress a slippery, flopping fish out of water. I finally just gave up and let him run around like this until he settled down.

The headband? I did that just for my own amusement. And it never fails: that was the one thing I put on him that he didn't fight me with.

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Sixteen Months Old

For some reason, I'm having a really difficult time writing this post. I'm racking my brain for things to write about, things that Asher is busy doing, developmental progress he is making, ANYTHING...but I'm at a loss. Instead, I've just yawned at least twenty times in the last minute and a half. It's no wonder I can't think of a darn thing to write - I'm pooped! This is pretty much how I've been feeling lately, too...flat out exhausted. Part of it is my own fault - not getting as much sleep as I need and eating really poorly. But the other part of it? I'm blaming it on my son. Sometimes I sit back and am totally floored by all the energy that kid has, constantly sprinting from one room to the next, up the stairs, down the stairs, on the bed, off the bed. I am of the belief that our children suck the energy right out of us, just like they do our money and our sanity, and that is the real explanation behind parental poopedness.

Asher's comprehension continues to grow, which I think is just about the most thrilling thing in the whole entire universe. If he's in the mood, he can do the entire Itsy Bitsy Spider, and has learned to play Ring Around the Rosie. He tries to mock more and more words, nevermind that they are still completely off. If you ask him a question, he'll answer you. "Have you been a good boy today, Asher?" "Bah!" "What did you and Daddy do?" "Bwah bah!" "Was that fun?" "Bah! Da-da...Da-da...Da-da..."

Asher has also sprouted a new tooth! We're very happy that all the drooling and finger gnawing had a purpose, after all. Although, his teeth seem to be pretty pointless if he WON'T EAT HIS FOOD. I'm praying this is just normal, picky toddler behavior and not any true indication of his future diet. If he turns out to have his Daddy's taste in food, I'm pretty much screwed.

We're really excited that warmer weather is moving in so we can expand Asher's adventures to the outdoors. We've already played outside in the backyard on a few occasions, and have gone to the park several times. We're looking forward to getting his wading pool and sprinkler toys out, going to the zoo, teaching him to ride his pre-tricycle, going hiking, watching fireworks, attending PaPa's park band concerts, and hunting down some good fair food this summer. Yeah, I know we're only a month into Spring, but by the time I get the energy to do just one thing on the list, it'll be mid-August.

Here are pictures of Asher from the month of April.

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