Asher Votes Grandfather Day Care as Being "The Best"

This is why I have to quit my job. I am absolutely, positively going through Asher withdrawal. It's true: I have sweaty palms, dry mouth, knots in my stomach, and my heart is racing. Here I keep thinking it'll be great when he's a little bit older and can spend a weekend away at one of the grandparents' houses so Stephen and I can remind ourselves that we're a loving, married couple, not a couple of siblings trying to kill each other with coat hangers. Yeah, it's sad when you start to have brotherly feelings toward your husband. I guess that's what no sleep and no sex and no alone time together and stress will do to your relationship if you let it.

Anyway, Brother Steve was finally offered a job last week and joyously took it. It's so funny; I know he desperately wants to be happy being Mr. Mom for us, but he just isn't. The poor guy, I come home from work and he always has this look of defeat on his face - as he'd say, he looks like someone just kicked his dog. When he received the job offer, he tried his best to seem ho-hum about it (because he knew I'd be sad that we'd have to find alternative care for Asher during the day), but I could just tell this giant weight was lifted from his shoulders. Really and truly, I swear his posture has improved in the past week - I think he's grown an inch and a half taller.

Since Daddy is now employed with a "real" job (with his own office, might I add, the lucky bastard not getting pinned into an awful gray cubicle like some people), little Baby Asher Bug is going to have quite an exciting next few weeks being tossed between friends and family. But only for a few weeks! Call me crazy, call me irresponsible, I don't care, but it's my goal - and I've promised myself I'm sticking to it - to be done with my job by the beginning of summer. Before I do it, though, I want to give Stephen a few weeks to settle into his job and make sure it's going to work out and to give us time to make out a gameplan. In the meantime, Asher is in need of daytime caregivers. Maybe I'm being overprotective, but I don't want some stranger watching my little baby. Since it's only for a few weeks, I'm being brave and asking for assistance from family and friends. Yes, I'm actually asking for help. I can't believe it, either. Remember, this is the year in which I'm "letting go". And it's hard. Especially when it's my pride.

Stephen technically begins work this Monday, but he had an event to attend all day today for his company. So, we had a test run of Grandfather Day Care. Asher swore this place would be so freakin' awesome and made Stephen drive a whopping 45 minutes (probably longer this morning in rush hour traffic) just so he could give it a whirl. I'll be honest, I was really nervous about today, and don't get me wrong, it had nothing to do with me not trusting Stephen's dad with Asher. I knew Joe would be great; I just worried about Asher behaving like a little howler monkey all day for poor good-intentioned Joe. I was good, though; I only called once to check in on things and Joe never had to call me with questions or complaints or to tell me if I DON'T COME PICK UP THIS BABY RIGHT NOW HE'S GOING DOWN THE TOILET. Apparently, Asher was a good little boy, and then I realized, well duh, of course he was. He not only got a break from annoying Mommy and Daddy, but also got to spend the WHOLE day with his beloved Grandfather. Of course, icing on the cake was the fact that Marmie was around in the afternoon with him, too.

So maybe Asher can be trusted around other people. Maybe he can play nice. Maybe I need to take a pill and give my kid some credit, geez. If I'm this uptight about his behavior now, what kind of a monster mother am I going to be when he's three? Or six? Or SIXTEEN! I'm having an anxiety attack just thinking about it.

Back to my Asher withdrawal, it's now 8:00 and my Asher Bug still isn't home and my heart is beginning to cramp up a little. It could be all the red meat I've been gorging myself on lately, but I think it might possibly be the fact that I haven't seen him ALL DAMN DAY and I miss the hell out of him. It's hard not getting my usual hourly Asher fix during my lunch. So like I said, this is why I have to quit my job. In the meantime, we are ever so grateful to Grandfather and Laurie and Auntie Jamie for offering to help us out and watch Asher during my (hopefully) final weeks at work. If anyone out there wants baby time, just let me know...Of course, you might have to fight Grandfather to get your time - Marmie tells me he isn't so willing to share. (Asher says that's why Grandfather is so awesome.)