What We Crave

Ah...sleep deprivation. It's no secret that it comes with the territory of having children, but of course, as usual, I'd underestimated the toll it'd have on us. I find myself falling asleep while pumping, while feeding Asher, while trying to get Asher to fall asleep, while "playing" with Asher (as much as you can play with a one-month old), and...well, that's pretty much all I do these days, but I'm sure if I had the time to read or watch tv or BREATHE I'd probably fall asleep doing those things, too.

Our conversations - what few we have the energy to have - are mumbled, jumbled, and highly unintelligent. Stephen can't put his thoughts into words and gets his facts mixed up. I no longer find myself telling him I'm uninterested in his banter regarding the latest shopping center construction in Noblesville; now, I find myself hoping he'll go into his rambles so I can take a mental snooze. In other words, my ability to listen no longer exists - it puts me to sleep.

I've heard from EVERYONE that the lack of sleep won't get much better for at least another 18 years - when Asher goes to college. I don't know about that; I spent five years at college and with that experience I think I'll sleep even less at that point, knowing what he's probably up to.

Luckily, I'm too tired to worry about the future. I think I'm going to go take a nap.