My Many Apologies to the Cows

I've begun eating meat again. Only some meat - not all meat - and pretty much only meat that's really bad for you. Like Wendy's cheeseburgers, and McDonald's cheeseburgers, and Burger King's spicy chicken sandwiches, and Arby's roast beef. Oh, and Burger King's whoppers. Not the junior size, either.

Sadly, I will also admit I ate a grilled hotdog at my mom's. (Actually, I had two.)

I'd been a vegetarian for just over a year and a half, and never slipped up. Right after I discovered I was pregnant, I became very paranoid from reading certain nazi-esque strict pregnancy books that I wasn't going to be able to get enough protein in my diet and my baby would turn out to be a giant glob of jell-o. It's true that you can get plenty of protein from non-meat sources, but I can only enjoy so much peanut butter, dairy products, and beans on a regular appetite, let alone on a nauseous pregnant appetite. So, within a couple of weeks of getting our positive test results, I decided it would be wise to temporarily begin eating meat during my pregnancy - but only white meat and fish. I successfully forced myself to eat chicken three nights in a row, and that's precisely when my nausea successfully kicked in full force for approximately two and a half months.

And thanks to the timing of the morning sickness onset, I still have zero desire to eat chicken (with the exception of Burger King's spicy chicken sandwich, but I'm not sure that's actually real chicken). Not even fried. And that was always my favorite. Bacon also reminds me of being sick thanks to Stephen fixing it in June when I not only had morning sickness but also the stomach flu. Oh, God, the awful, wretched smell. Bacon was also always my favorite. Ruined. Absolutely ruined.

So I went back to my meat-free diet during my days of nausea, which wasn't tough considering my diet was basically food-free. However, over the past couple of months, I've gone back to the dark side, ever so slowly, a burger here, a roast beef there. And I'm picking up pace. What went from having meat once every couple of weeks progressed to about once a week, and now is almost daily. Really, though, I haven't been craving meat; I think it's just the fact that my appetite, though HUGE, is still a little on the finicky side. All of the usual meals I ate I was just plain getting sick of. And honestly...I am exhausted, cranky, achy, and just plain lazy. I haven't got the energy at this point in time to grow a baby, keep myself functioning, and come up with new and tasty vegetarian meals that myself and my picky husband will eat. Stephen came home this evening with supplies for tacos for tomorrow night, ground beef included. I'm too tired to resist.

Will I revert back to my meatless diet after the baby is born? I've been relentlessly teased since I quit eating meat (like it's any of people's business what I do and don't eat), but I'm really proud of myself for having kept it up for as long as I did. Only time will tell if I will go completely meat-free again; I'm not going to make any promises. I honestly do feel badly about it - I know it's totally lame in most people's opinion, but I really hate the killing of animals. I think it's cruel, and I think it's gross. I grew up seeing countless pig trucks heading to Wilson's/IBP/Tyson from the local farms. We lived on the same side of town as the slaughter plant and in the summertime, ugh, the smell! The SMELL!!! I also have to say I felt healthier and somehow cleaner when not eating meat.

But dammit, those Wendy burgers sure do taste mighty good. And do you realize how difficult it is to maintain a vegetarian diet when you eat out as often as we do and your husband hates cheese, eggs, and vegetables? Thank God for pasta and cereal.