Thoughts on Having a Son

Our ultrasound was this morning, and we had very happy results:

(1) Baby Neener appears to be healthy and normal.

(2) Baby Neener is a BOY.

And, he apparently likes to flaunt his junk. The technician plopped the do-hickey wand on my belly and at the first image that popped up when she focused on the baby she exclaimed, "It's a boy!! He's got it all hanging out right there!" See, she had forewarned us when we first arrived that sometimes they can't tell the gender if the baby isn't in a certain position. I said to Stephen that knowing our child, it probably wouldn't cooperate and after all this we wouldn't get to find out the sex. He said, nah, knowing our child, it'll be spread eagle. Does Stephen know his son well, or what?!

It's funny because it seems like everyone except me knew what I was going to have a long time ago, and sure enough, out of that 50/50 shot, everyone was right. I really had no "sense" or "feeling" on what the baby is, and I really had no strong preference for either. Granted, being a woman, I have to admit a big part of me wanted a little girl to baby and dress up. But, over the past couple of months I'd heard so many people state their predictions that Baby Neener is a boy that I had really kind of gotten myself excited at the prospect of having a son. I think I'm most looking forward to witnessing the development of the father-son bond between Stephen and Baby Neener. When I asked him about how he felt about having a son, he quickly stated he's excited because now he'll finally have someone with whom to play golf and other sports. For me, a girl who grew up solely with other women, this will be a BIG learning experience. But, I have to say there's something strangely comforting about knowing I'll have a son. It's almost like we'll have a back-up man of the house for killing spiders and scrubbing the litterbox and cleaning out fuzzy things in the refrigerator that have made their way to the back, back corner. You know, all those gross things that I don't want to touch with a ten-foot pole. Boys are just cool in that respect - they're tough and don't mind doing crap like that. Or, at least, they put on a good face about it.

I really hope Baby Neener has his daddy's wonderful sense of character and personality. I've always said that Stephen isn't like the stereotypical man - he's not harsh, overly opinionated, stubborn, womanizing, selfish, focused only on sex. I thank God every day he is the sweet, caring man that he is and I hope he passes on some of those sweet genes to our son. Sure, I'll be honest, sometimes I get annoyed when he wants to go visit his parents or my parents on a weekly basis, or when I can't get through to him on his cell phone because he's been on the other line with his mom. But overall, I think it's that family-oriented nature of his that makes him such a devoted and great husband, and soon-to-be father. He really is going to be the best dad ever, and I'm so grateful that, God willing, my child is going to grow up in a household that has two parents so committed to each other and their family. And, since I've been pregnant and am starting to think about some things from a totally different perspective than I used to, I look at Maryann and my mother and realize how lucky they are, that their children actually want to spend time with them and care for them. I can only pray that our children will be as good to us in the future.

Mainly, though, I'm just absolutely THRILLED that there are two arms and two legs where they're supposed to be, and the brain, kidneys, stomach, bladder, and heart seem to be functioning properly. Of course I won't let my guard down too much...there's always the chance that something will go wrong with my child, whether while still inside my body, during birth, or at any point up until I die. It's the curse parents are stricken with for the rest of their lives - horrible worry and fear over their child's well-being.

But for now, at this moment in time, I can breathe easy and be ecstatic over our sweet, healthy boy fetus.

And most importantly of all, I can finally add some gender-specific products to our baby registries!

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A Little Nervous and a Lot Excited

I can't remember the last time, if ever, I felt this strange mix of emotions that I'm feeling this evening as I await going to my ultrasound tomorrow morning. It's kind of like the excitement I feel on Christmas Eve, mixed with the anxiety I used to feel on the day before the first day of school after summer break, peppered in with a little dread which I feel before any doctor's visit.

Good grief - how crazy am I going to feel when I start going into labor?!

I can't express the impatience I've had since the moment I found out I was pregnant. On the one hand, I want to know EVERYTHING, and I want to know it RIGHT NOW - I want to know the gender; his/her name; his/her personality; his/her interests; his/her career choice; his/her spouse; his/her children. On the other hand, I'm actually a little sad that this pregnancy is going by so quickly and it's already time to find out the gender (even though there for awhile I thought I'd be stuck in my first trimester FOREVER). Yes, yes, I know - I could just let the anticipation linger a bit longer and wait until the delivery, but I think it's important for us to find out so we can prepare for Baby Neener as best as we can. I realize it sounds ridiculous to say this while my baby is still in the womb, but I can't help but feel like he/she is already growing up way too quickly. Gosh, I mean, it seems like just yesterday Baby Neener was just a tiny Embryo Neener! And then, of course, beneath those feelings I'm worried they will find something wrong with the baby tomorrow.

To top it all off? I have to try to remember to give myself a cut-off time early tomorrow morning after which I cannot tinkle, as I have been sternly instructed to arrive with a FULL bladder for the ultrasound.

I feel like 8:45 a.m. is about a million years away right now and I can't decide if I want it to hurry up and fly by or if I want to savor the waiting period for as long as I can.

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Week 21: Entering the World of Mommy Pants

I am now in my 21st week of pregnancy, which is quite a big milestone as I am officially just over halfway through incubating Baby Neener. As rough as it's been at times, this pregnancy is still managing to fly by - before we know it, we'll be diapering Baby Neener's little baby butt.

This past week has also marked my surrender to maternity clothes. Granted, I have been wearing some maternity tops for a couple of months, but they were pretty baggy and I still had the option of wearing my regular clothes. But now my relationship with my old clothes seems to be over, or at least on pause - my button-down tops don't exactly button as they should over my belly or my bust anymore, and my regular tops are too short to cover up the bella bands which hold up my regular pants because they only fit when totally unfastened. And the bella bands are another story - Angela gave me two to borrow, and I've worn them religiously for the past couple of months as my belly has expanded. But, as the expansion continues, the bands are becoming more uncomfortable and less efficient at holding up my pants - I find them constantly sliding up my back and belly, leaving my unzipped zipper exposed and my pants hanging just barely onto my hips. It's time, I suppose, to move into maternity pant world. Luckily, Angela and Dawn have given me lots of maternity clothes already. The tops fit wonderfully, so I won't have to buy many of these at all. Unfortunately, though, my legs are shorter than most, so I'm unable to wear Angela's pants and will have to buy some myself. I've already bought one pair of jeans and two pairs of work pants, so I really only need to buy maybe another pair of casual pants and work pants and I should be good to go. But then I also have to worry about my darn boobs, who no longer think they need to fit inside the many perfectly good bras I already own. I've now grown a cup size since April, and from what I can tell, there's probably another cup size to go. I'm just praying my feet don't grow, too, as many women's supposedly do. Call me clueless, because I know I am, or at least I was, but I had no idea this whole baby-making project would require a complete new wardrobe!

Baby Neener's eyelids have apparently finished forming this week and he/she is about eight and a half inches long now and weighs around twelve ounces. I can tell that Baby Neener has really become much stronger in the past week, as I've been noticing more and more movement in my belly. That, or Baby Neener has recently found a way to pop popcorn inside my uterus. Either way, it's a pretty exciting milestone! I find myself spending much time with my hand on my belly feeling the tiny bumps from the outside of my body, and if I lay on my back and look at my bare stomach, I can see it twitch from time to time. Unfortunately, Stephen has been unable to detect these movements for the most part. Today, he finally felt one, but didn't believe me that it was, in fact, the baby's kick he was feeling. He stated that it just felt like a muscle twitch. I retorted, that's exactly what it feels like. So he questioned, well then how do you know it's not just a muscle spasm? I kindly informed him that I've never noticed my lower abdomen to be of a highly twitchy nature and it would be a pretty big coincidence if my lower abdomen decided to become spazzy right around the same exact time that the doctor, all of the books I've been reading, and all of my peers say is the time I should start to feel real fetal movements. Besides, I told him, the baby isn't big or strong enough yet to kick with enough force that would produce much more than this twitching sensation. This shut him up, but I still don't think I fully convinced him. Fortunately, we visited my mom this weekend and not only did she feel a baby twitch or two, but she also saw the movement of my spazzy belly. So, ha! I have at least one witness to the activities of my squirrely baby.

This Friday is a very important day for us, as I will have my ultrasound done and we will finally find out the gender of Baby Neener. I've been surprised by the number of people I've encountered who become discouraged when I tell them we aren't waiting until birth to find out the gender. Really, why does it matter? The gender is already determined - it was at the moment of conception - it's just a matter of whether or not we're aware of it. And why not find out as soon as you can, so you can better prepare? It's funny because I didn't realize how much of a touchy issue this is for many people - I just assumed that since they have the technology now, that most people do find out the gender at their ultrasounds. Apparently there are still a lot of traditionalists out there - obviously these people have loads more patience than what I do, and I admire them for that, really I do. However, my message to those folks is - don't worry yourself for our sake, because it will be just as magical when we find out the gender at our ultrasound as it would be if we waited until the birth. The way I see it, the birth is going to be magical no matter whether you already know the sex or not; after all, that will be the first time we'll get to meet our baby, our own flesh and blood. And, if you are still totally opposed to our finding out whether it's a Boy Neener or a Girl Neener, just let me know - I'll be more than happy to withhold the news from you until I deliver!

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Just a Wee Fetus and Already Completely Spoiled

I think I've figured out why my four year old niece, Ella, is so excited that Aunt Kimmie is going to give her a baby cousin. Turns out, she appears to be reaping many benefits from our procreational plans. Of course, this isn't to say she wasn't already pampered to begin with; quite the contrary, the kid has so many toys, games, movies, and books that you'd think there were four grandchildren living at my parents' house. However, since we've decided to start popping out my mother's grandchildren, some additional perks have arisen for the tike - see below.

This past weekend and probably at least another couple of weekends to come was and will be spent erecting the newest addition to the grandchildren's play paradise, aka, my parents' backyard. So far, they have an inflatable wading pool, a sandbox (which they do cover up when not in use so animals can't potty in it - the reason my mother preferred us not to play in sandboxes at the parks when we were little), a child-sized picnic table, and the beginnings of a huge playset monstrosity that will consist of two slides, a fort, two swings, a baby swing, and a glider swing. As you can see from the picture below, after the playset had begun to be erected, even my parents seemed to be a bit overwhelmed by the size of it. Will that stop their madness? Oh no. My mother is completely ecstatic over her plans to become ruler of all grandchildren near and far - the next project is going to be a playhouse.

My mother's ultimate goal? She flat out told me: Baby Neener will not want to be at home; Baby Neener will want to be at NeeNee & Papa's all the time. She even "threatened" that there will be some Friday evenings when she will come down straight after work, will pick up Baby Neener and take him/her back to her house (and I will not be invited), and if we're lucky we'll get him/her back on Sunday.

My response to that is, You call that a threat? My mother's quest to be the best grandmother ever could really work to our advantage. And, if we could just get Stephen's mother on board to strive to become most crazed grandmother, too, I have a feeling we'll be lucky enough to have all our weekends free and not have to spend a dime on babysitters.

Mothers are wonderful creatures, God bless them.

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Week 19: Good News from the Doc

This morning I took a couple of hours off for some much needed rest after I overdid it a little this weekend. I am so happy that I did. My doctor's office called and left a message requesting I call them regarding my test results from the bloodwork I had done just over a week ago at my last appointment. Needless to say, I totally freaked out because they never call when the results are negative. In fact, for past tests, I've always been told they'll only contact me if something is wrong. I nervously returned the call and - hallelujah! - the results were negative for any abnormalties with the baby. If I hadn't been there to receive that message this morning, I wouldn't have gotten it until after work, which means I would have had to have waited until tomorrow morning to call and get the results, which means I would have gotten ZERO sleep and probably an ulcer from worrying.

Anyway, long story short, Baby Neener appears to be doing great so far. Our ultrasound is just over two weeks away, and I'm hoping we get good results from it, too - i.e., images of a HEALTHY Baby Neener without any legs coming out of his/her head! Stephen is adamant that he doesn't care whether we're having a girl or a boy, as long as the baby's healthy. I have to agree with him. I keep saying, I don't care if it's a girl or a boy, as long as it's one of the two, and not some weird combination of the two. Of course I would still love my baby if it was transgender, don't get me wrong, but I would hate for my child to endure such a hardship.

Week 19 developmental updates: Baby Neener is about seven and a half inches long and weighs about seven ounces, his/her kidneys are making urine, and hair is beginning to grow on his/her head.

As for me, I'm continually growing more and more ecstatic about the little person growing inside of me while, as you can see from the picture, my belly is ecstatic to just be continually growing and growing.

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Charlie Anxiously Awaitsthe Arrival of Baby Neener

For some reason, Charlie isn't the biggest fan of dress up time, but he puts up less of a fight than the other two. He partially humors me, but says he can't wait for his Meowmie to have a real baby so she'll leave him the hell alone.

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Survival of Another Doctor's Visit

This morning we went to our third prenatal appointment with the doctor. Overall, I don't mind going to these appointments - we get to listen to the baby's heartbeat, and we get to get out of work for a couple of hours for a legitimate reason. However, I also find these appointments incredibly nervewracking. Like...how it took the nurse what seemed like ten minutes to find the baby's heartbeat. In actuality, it probably only took her 30 seconds, but her saying, "Where is it? Where is it?" repeatedly freaked me out more than just a little bit. Then, I got the pleasure of having more blood drawn....and we all know how much I love needles and blood. And, the lady didn't use a baby needle on me like the other lady did the last time. Bitch.

Everything was fine, though - Baby Neener's heart is still a-poundin', my tinkle sample was tested and is "normal," my uterus was measured and it's of "normal" size and proportion, I haven't blimped up (YET - I weighed exactly the same as last time, but my doctor didn't seem concerned about it - my luck I'll pack on 20 pounds in the next four weeks), and we scheduled our next appointment - the big one, the ULTRASOUND. I hadn't been aware of this, but nowadays you can bring in a blank DVD and they'll actually record the ultrasound for you - how cool! We are soooooo looking forward to this visit, we can hardly stand it. Although, this will be the moment of truth - whether Baby Neener does, in fact, have a leg growing out of the side of its head.

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