I've Got Serious Talent

Recently having developed superhuman gag reflexes, I am now dubbing myself the Queen of Gagging. And, I've discovered this week it's not a pleasure to save just for teeth brushing time. Oh, my goodness, no. I find gagging so delightful that now I've pretty much decided I can gag at the drop of a hat. Literally. Drop your hat and I'll gag for you.

At least a few times a week I have issues brushing my teeth. Either my tongue or my back teeth decide they just do not want to be touched at all by Mr. Toothbrush, or toothpaste/saliva/rinse water will hit the back of my mouth at just the right (wrong) spot, and all hell breaks loose. As annoying as this is, and as much as I find this behavior completely unnecessary, I've learned to deal with - even laugh at - it. I mean, how retarded is it that I puke after brushing my teeth? And then, after puking from brushing, is it wise to brush again? Just think of the possible chain reaction!

But now I'm beginning to wonder if my mouth didn't hire a bouncer without consulting me first. Last night, trying to be a good mother to Baby Neener, I had a healthy dinner of a small portion of ceasar pasta salad, then a healthy snack of a peach, and another healthy snack of a very small bowl of Frosted Mini-Wheats before bed. (Remember, I have to pretty much constantly eat to ward off nausea and, because I find it difficult lately to eat much more than kid-sized portions, I'm always hungry.) To top it all off, to nail down my Mother-of-the-Year Award, I took a prenatal vitamin. And then I proceeded to gag more violently than I can remember ever doing before, ran into the bathroom, and "released" all of Baby Neener's nourishment for the evening across the toilet lid.

As if that's not bad enough, at lunch I took a bite of my sandwich and gagged on it. No spewing involved this time, but it was frightening. I don't know what my body is trying to tell me. I thought brushing one's teeth, taking prenatal vitamins for the fetus, and eating were all good things...have I been mistaken all this time?

Only good I can find in this whole situation is that I've definitely lost my fear of puking. In fact, I feel I've become quite good at it. Not exactly a skill I had wanted to hone, but I guess beggars can't be choosers.