This Is Why You Shouldn't Make Fun of Your Husband

Only a couple of posts ago, I wrote about Stephen's sweet misunderstanding skills. Wouldn't it figure, I totally pulled a "Stephen" today at work.

One of my co-workers walked by my desk this morning laughing and I could have sworn she said to me, "Kim, you can call me Big Tits, too."

"Did you really say what I think you said?" I replied, laughing back at her. Note I wasn't necessarily shocked, because (a) she does have and frequently has spoken about her big, uh, tits, and (b) she and I excel at inappropriate conversation in the office. Because work is dull and boring, and sometimes you need to talk about farts and sex injuries and weird weight gains in your boobs and ass just to keep yourselves awake.

She explained: Yes; she had just told another co-worker that she had snarfed down a Big Texas, which from what she said I think is like a large honey bun, right after she ate her breakfast because she was still hungry. So she said we could call her Big Texas.

Ohhhhhhhhhhh, now that makes more sense. I told her I was curious, not only why I could call her Big Tits, but moreover why the "too" was thrown in there, which implies someone else in the office was already calling her Big Tits. If you knew the people with whom we work, you would understand that would just be weird and wrong on so many different levels for so many different reasons.

She said if I really wanted to call her Big Tits, I could, though. I think that would be a very nice nickname to have; you know, it would surely make you memorable, or something. And, I think I would really enjoy having the opportunity to greet someone with "Good morning, Big Tits!" each day. But, I suppose I'll decline her offer, as I'd feel really badly and really grossed out if the nickname caught on with the rest of the office.