It's Not So Much the Great Pumpkin, Stephen Barr

I really don't want to be one of those neighbors (you know, the "car on blocks in the driveway, upholestered furniture on the front porch" kind of neighbors), but it looks like I'm on my way. I know it's well over a week past Halloween and we should have trashed Mr. Pumpkin the next day, but honestly from a distance he appeared to be just fine. However, I've discovered we've gone from being pleasantly festive to disgustingly lazy in a matter of a couple of days. Today at lunch, I walked past him and noticed he sort of looks like he's trying to eat himself. His face is all sunken in, and his lid has collapsed. And, ew, gross, he's covered in mold on the inside! Luckily, I didn't notice any rotting pumpkin stench, but with the uncharateristically warm weather we're having this week, I predict there will be much stink in the near future. I suppose I could go rid the porch of him now, but, ew, did I mention there's mold involved?! I really think rotting pumpkin disposal clearly falls into the category of man's work. So, Stephen, I beg of you, please put Mr. Pumpkin out of his misery before the bugs make a home out of him and I get totally grossed out.