Dairy Barn Preparations: Part II

The Dairy Barn, though not quite open for business, is coming along nicely. Stephen and I painted the room Wednesday and Thursday of last week, and since then I've finally managed to put everything from the baby shower that belongs in the nursery away. (Car seat, car seat accessories, and feeding gear are still strewn all over the downstairs, but I'm sure they'll find homes soon enough, too.)

As you can see, the room is still basically empty, with the exception of the cats, the bookcase, and the television, which is temporarily sitting on a filing cabinet that doesn't belong in the room. The closet, on the other hand, is filled to the brim with baby clothes, diaper bags, changing supplies, and health care items. Our crib, which was an extremely generous gift from Angie and her mom, has been purchased and is waiting at the store for us to pick it up - we just have to con Stephen's parents into letting us borrow their van and maybe his dad's assistance, since the crib weighs slightly over 100 lbs. and is very bulky. Hopefully within the next few days we'll be able to pick it up and assemble it - it's killing me knowing it's sitting at the store instead of in Baby Neener's room. I'm so damn happy and relieved - my baby won't be sleeping in a drawer after all!

We still need to get a rocker, a small media stand for the tv, a dresser (the one we picked out for our registry is long so it can double as a changing table), curtains, and some wall accessories. Oh, and a breast pump. After all, we can't very well call it the Dairy Barn if there's no milk pumping devices. I am hoping we can manage to get most, if not all, of these items before we get our baby.

Stay tuned for more (*yawn*) exciting updates...

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Don't Be Fooled by the Look on His Face

Charlie is absolutely loving all the new baby stuff coming into the house. This picture was taken the day after my shower, as I was unpacking all of Baby Neener's goodies from the gift bags. I figured if he's going to lie all over the baby clothes (which hadn't been washed yet), he may as well model them for me.

I hope Baby Neener looks this cute in a hat, but maybe a little less pissed off.

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Week 29: The Expansion Continues

The baby has officially taken over me - socially, mentally, and physically.

The past week has been very much baby-focused as we've been working on putting together a nice bedroom for the lad. The room has been painted - it turned out darker than I'd expected, but I think it'll look really cozy once we have some furniture in there and the antique white curtains I envision (still have to find or make them) will brighten it up a bit. I'll post pictures of the room this week once I find my magic wand to wave all of our shower goodies into order. It's really difficult to put stuff away when you don't have anywhere to put it. As I'd mentioned in my previous post, my family hosted a baby shower for me on Saturday afternoon and everything was fantastic. People driving 1, 2, 3, 4 hours and giving up their precious Saturday afternoon just to watch me open presents and show their support...my family cooking and cleaning and making invitations and name cards and decorating...my family and friends so generously keeping me occupied for what seemed like hours opening all their gifts...all of the advice and compliments and hugs and kisses given to me...It was really overwhelming to me how generous, thoughtful, and loving these people in my life are, and I can't begin to thank them for making me feel special enough that they'd endure a baby shower! Actually, the hostesses did an excellent job of making it not feel like a baby shower. It was exactly as I'd wanted - just a gathering of friends and family enjoying each other's company over an Italian feast, cake, and presents. I think Ella enjoyed herself more than anyone, though, since she not only got to be the primary gift-opener, but also had not one, but TWO babies to gawk and giggle at. Unfortunately, only a handful of pictures were taken by Stephen - his excuse being the fact that he hates taking pictures (very nice) - and the ones that were taken didn't turn out very well. I know a few people took some, so if you have any you'd like to pass along to me, I'd be very appreciative!

Since the shower, I've been spending my evenings writing thank you cards and attempting to put baby stuff away which, as I stated, is challenging considering the lack of a dresser or baskets or anything in which to store all of it. I did get to begin packing our diaper bag, though, which felt very...odd. I have a hard enough time packing for myself and figuring out what I need to take with me, let alone having to now do this for a little baby. It all comes back to the realization that someone's life is going to be lying in my hands...what a terrifying thought! Poor Baby Neener is just going to have to learn to accept the fact that there will be constant trips to the store when we travel, because his mommy will have mysteriously packed five outfits for a three hour outing, but will have forgotten to pack diapers.

When I'm not actively doing baby preparations - when I'm at work, sleeping, or socializing - I'm thinking about the baby or baby preparations. I've only reminded myself twice in this post alone that we don't have a darn dresser yet, but mentally I've gone over this fact again, and again, and again, and AGAIN. At least 512,632 times today. And those are just the number of thoughts concerning the dresser. My mind is constantly racing - mostly in good ways, mostly due to excitement - I like to daydream about holding the baby, seeing him for the first time, smelling the top of his soft, freshly cleansed little baby boy head, taking him to visit his grandparents and watching them smother him with love, having everything set up and waiting for him in his room, and, yes, dressing him in all of his adorable and unbelievably tiny little baby boy clothes. I try not to daydream about the impending doom of labor, our financial situation (i.e., how the hell are we going to afford a child?!), our job situations, or the other ten bazillion things that could very easily go wrong with the baby, with us, with our lives in general. This whole parenting thing doesn't compliment my worrywart tendencies very well, and I know it'll only get worse and will never go away. I think the most annoying part of it all is the fact that I can never decide whether I'm stressed out or really damn excited. I've told Stephen that I keep having the weirdest emotions recently - I'll suddenly feel the happiest of happy and the saddest of sad at the exact same time. I feel like I'm bi-polar, except I experience the mania and depression together. It's very bizarre and I pray it's not a sign of me beginning to lose it.

I'm really enjoying this time of my pregnancy, though. The due date is far enough away that I haven't begun to panic too too much, but yet is close enough that I can really start to get excited. My main complaint right now is the constant backaches that only seem to be getting more uncomfortable as I grow. There's really no relief for them - I'm pretty much equally in discomfort whether I'm standing, sitting or lying down. Also, I've become thoroughly convinced that my baby is actually a giant tapeworm, consuming all of my food, leaving me with an insatiable appetite. Luckily it doesn't take much to make me full, since my stomach doesn't have much room for expansion anymore, but about a half an hour after I eat I'm ready for more. I really wouldn't mind this so much - remember the agony I felt when I had zero appetite because I love to eat - except for the awful indigestion I get in return. I haven't been having much heartburn, but instead I'm blessed with the ability to throw up a little in my mouth every time I burp. Mmm. I've also reached the point in my expansion in which I feel I honestly cannot grow any larger. I know if I were to read this in a couple of months I'd laugh hysterically at my poor, naive self, but I already feel like a tick about to pop. I think I've also begun experiencing Braxton Hicks contractions - my abdomen will suddenly become very tight for a minute and will feel so "full" that it's uncomfortable.

Baby Neener is constantly growing stronger, which both excites me and frightens me. His kicks haven't quite become painful yet, but they're definitely becoming more pronounced and sometimes uncomfortable. He really enjoys lightly thumping around in one spot on my right side - his tiny little bumps and thumps are so sweet and cute - and then WHAM! he'll haul off and suddenly kick me with all of his might in my ribs. It usually startles the crap out of me more than anything, and I just picture him in there wickedly chuckling over the fact that he's already blessed with the ability to torment me. He'd better learn to be a little nicer. After all, I'll be the one dressing him for the first few years of his life. There are soooo many adorable baby girl clothes out there I'm just dying to buy and could very easily dress him in.

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Dairy Barn Preparations: Part I

This weekend Stephen and I FINALLY finished carting out the remainder of the office junk from Baby Neener's room - granted, most of it is still sitting in boxes or randomly piled in the hallway right outside of the room, but that's beside the point. We also made an exhausting trip to Home Depot to pick out paint because, for some reason, Stephen doesn't want to keep the pale pink that's already on the walls. It took a good hour, but we finally found the perfect shade of sage green. (Or at least we hope we won't hate it once it's on the walls.) Our goal is to paint the room this week - as you can see, I've begun taping the baseboards - because my wonderful mothers and sisters are throwing me a baby shower this Saturday and it would be ever so lovely to have a prepared room all set to throw Baby Neener's treasures into.

Stephen suggested we document the transformation of the office into the baby's room. Since the office was such a huge pigsty that I absolutely refused to document the prior condition, we're instead recording the transformation of this lovely clean room into Baby Neener's room or, as Stephen has decided to refer to it, the Dairy Barn. Because, ha ha, I'll be doing a lot of nursing and milk pumping in this room. My dear, clever husband. So hilarious.

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Her Baby Cousin

Ella is so excited about her baby cousin I think she can hardly stand it. Every time I see her, she asks me, "Aunt Kimmie, when is my baby cousin coming?" Or, when she's super excited, she'll leave the "cousin" out of it, so it's just her baby. And really, in her mind, I believe she does view this as her baby; you know, the ultimate gift her favorite aunt could ever give to her - a real, live baby that will grow into her very own personal playmate. I'm just that awesome, you know. So anyway, I question her in return, "Well, when did I tell you he'd be here?" Her eyes will brighten as the lightbulb flashes on in her head. "After Christmas!" "That's right," I reply. "Christmas has to happen first, and then you can start getting excited about the baby coming because it won't be long after that that I should have him." Of course, this occasionally leads to the exhausting discussion of when Christmas is - after Halloween, after her birthday, after Thanksgiving - but, typically it satisfies her impatience for at least a couple of hours.

Ella loves to inform me of what a wonderful big cousin she's going to be - actually, she's going to be such a wonderful cousin that she's stepping up her role a notch and proclaiming that she's going to be his big sister. I never correct her on this because I think she knows she won't technically be his big sister; I think this is just her way of letting us know what a close relationship she plans on having with Baby Neener. So, if she wants to be his honorary big sis, then more power to her. I think she must lie in bed at night reviewing her mental checklist of all the great accomplishments she wishes to pursue with her baby: reading to him, holding him, giving him his bottle, teaching him to ride a bike, playing in the pool with him, and teaching him to potty ("...and when he goes in his pants I'll say, 'ewww!'").

We visited with her last weekend, and now it seems she's taken the excitement over my pregnancy to the next level. As you can see from the picture below, she's pregnant, too. And apparently, she's much further along than I am, as her "belly" (comprised of a pillow that kept popping out from under her dress) greatly outshines my belly. My four year-old niece, pregnant. Her mother was so proud. I'm still waiting to learn when she'll allow me to come over and play with her daughter again.

I'm very relieved, though, that Ella is so excited over having another child enter the family. I was a little worried at first because Ella has literally been the center of the universe for all of us over the past four years, so I wasn't sure how she'd handle the news that someone new was going to come along and require attention that would normally be given to her. However, I've come to the realization that Ella lives in a world of adults - quite a boring world for a little kid - and craves companionship from a fellow youngster. Not to mention, she'll finally not be the youngest person in the family, which has quite a few perks of its own. Like, someone to blame your mischievous doings on and - FINALLY - someone other than Pa Pa whom you can boss around.

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TMI Warning

As you may have noticed, I have been primarily using my blog over the past several months to document my pregnancy. For one, I was too sick and/or lazy and/or cheap to go out and buy a pregnancy journal to write in. Besides, if I had, chances are I would have been too lazy to write in it. I don't know why, but I find typing easier and more enjoyable, so I figured this method of documentation would be more utilized. Two, it's so much easier to direct people to my blog when they ask questions than to repeat stories a million times. Again, this goes back to me being lazy. Three, I'm pregnant. It's kind of a big deal and it's kind of on my mind a lot. You know, like all the time. I've found it quite difficult to post about any other subject lately because, well, my mind is just a teensy bit focused on the crazy/exciting/scary changes that are taking place in my body, life, and marriage. Four, it's my freakin' blog and I'll post about whatever I want to post about. If people don't like it, then people don't have to read it. With that being said, I'm forewarning you, my beloved readers, that I'm about to divulge what most would probably consider a little too much information. Get out now while you have the chance.

Now that the squeamish have gone and all that are left are those who are morbidly curious - people after my own heart - I am free to talk about whatever I want to talk about, and I want to talk about my boobs. Not my old boobs, though...

My new magical mommy boobs.

I asked my mother just on Sunday night when I could expect to start having leaky breasts. She said it'd probably start to happen in the 7th or 8th month. The past two mornings I woke up with light-colored dried spots on my t-shirt. I expressed my suspicion to Stephen this morning that I thought the leaking may have begun. Then, sure enough, I was sitting at work typing away when I got a strange, warm, prickly sensation in my ta-tas. A little scared, I gingerly looked down my shirt and the weirdest thing was happening: liquid was coming out of my boobies!

Of course milk production is totally natural. Of course I was expecting it to happen. But how did I feel when it did happen? Honestly, a little creeped out! My boobs have never leaked before (obviously), so according to my past experience, this was NOT a natural occurrence. At the same time, though, I felt amazed and strangely proud and wanted to stand up and tell everyone in the whole world about my incredible boobs. Yes, yes, I know I'm nowhere near being the first or last woman to have leaky pregnant breasts, but that really doesn't make any difference because this is the first time I'm having this experience, so in my head, YEAH, it IS a huge milestone!

For some strange reason, Baby Neener is pretty excited about this big occurrence, too.

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Reaching a New Level of Unsanitary

The cats sleep in our bed with us, even lie on our pillows. They lie in our bathroom sinks and shower. They romp all over our clean clothes on laundry day. And now, it appears we're allowing them to climb into our refrigerator and help themselves to all the pickles and bottled water they want.

If we ever invite you over for dinner, please disregard ever having seen this picture.

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Week 26: Farewell, Second Trimester

I am almost two-thirds of the way through my pregnancy; this is the last week of my second trimester.

It's been a good trimester, and I'm kind of sad to see it go so quickly. It brought me eventual relief from the wretched first trimester. I had renewed energy so I could actually get off of my sofa most evenings, if I'd wanted to. I was big enough in size so that I looked pregnant rather than just bloated, but still small enough that I remained fairly mobile, without many aches or pains. I know all of this is about to change, and in some ways it is already.

I still feel pretty energetic in spirit, but I've noticed in the past week or two that my body is beginning to lag behind. I've had minor back aches the entire pregnancy, but they've increased a great deal recently. If I'm not complaining about my back hurting from sitting, I'm whining about it hurting from walking, standing, doing laundry, or sleeping. And sleeping...oh God, how I miss sound sleeping! I see now what my books have meant when they've stated that pregnancy sort of prepares your body for the arrival of a newborn - all of the tinkle trips in the middle of the night and the inability to get comfortable really makes it difficult to get much rest, so I guess when the baby comes along it won't be as shocking to my system to be up much of the night with him. I feel like I'm going through training for the marathon that is new motherhood. Bending over is really becoming a challenge already - Seriously, I had no idea putting on my underwear would be such a balancing act, and it's only going to get worse?! And, something I didn't think I'd experience so soon but have discovered in the past week is shortness of breath. There are times, like right now, that I'm able to breathe normally and easily. But at other times, like all morning long this morning, I feel like I can't catch my breath, like I can't suck in enough oxygen to satisfy my lungs. I've been feeling these strange squirmy sensations in my rib cage over the past week, so I guess my organs are probably beginning to shift and squish upward and out to make room for Baby Neener. I've been feeling very full lately - I feel like a scarecrow whose torso is overstuffed and overflowing with straw. And I still have over three months of growing to do? How is this possible? Nevermind, I don't want to think about it.

It's not all bad, though, and the things that are bad aren't "first trimester bad." It's tolerable. (Says the girl just entering the final trimester. We'll see what I'm saying in a couple of months.) And, it's comical at times. I think it's very funny that I have to contort my body in strange ways to shave. Putting socks on my feet? Laughable! I just know Stephen finds it totally arousing the way I flop around in bed like a fish out of water when trying to turn myself over. It's also nice because now that I'm getting bigger, and as some have accused me of beginning to waddle, people can sense my growing helplessness and offer to help the poor pregnant girl. Today at work, Tatiana offered to get my water out of the refrigerator for me and "meet me halfway" because I looked tired, and Jennifer wedged herself between the copier and wall to rescue some papers I'd dropped in front of her. The best part? I don't even have to ask - people are just nice and help! I'm terribly excited about the freeing of Baby Neener in a few months, but I can't help but wonder how I'm going to function with the loss of my round, pregnant belly. I'll have to start picking up my dropped pencils myself again, and I'm just not sure I'm ready for the return of that kind of responsibility.

The most fun part, I think, of this upcoming trimester is going to be the increasing awareness of the realness and inevitability of the arrival of our baby. It's been easy to put off thinking about certain aspects of parenthood or making some preparations for his arrival because we've been able to shrug and say we have until January. January is not as far off as it was, and is only going to grow nearer. While sick and pretty much homebound most of the weekend, I did finally wash all of Baby Neener's clothes, blankets and sheets. The baby's room is still a mess, but slowly the mess is being transferred into boxes to be placed in the garage indefinitely. It's my goal to have the room ready-to-paint in the next couple of weeks. My Lord, for once in my life I'm not completely procrastinating doing chores - could it be I'm actually excited about this kid?

According to my weekly pregnancy update e-mails, I can expect to grow about a 1/2 an inch per week from here on out. (What? Come on, is that even possible?!) Baby Neener is around 13 inches long and weighs about two pounds. And the news that made Stephen proud? Baby Neener's testicles have begun their descent into his scrotum! If that's not party-worthy, I don't know what is.

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In Sickness & in Health, We Celebrate Number Five

Today I decided to stay home from work and bask in the pleasures of being ill, which pretty much consists of laying around, moaning, groaning, sneezing, blowing my nose, and coughing. I won't complain too much, though - the last time I was ill I spent the day puking, nauseous, and bed-ridden. Give me a cold over the stomach flu any day. Needless to say, things haven't been very exciting around here the past week. Stephen was sick with the same crud last weekend that lingered around for the majority of last week. Lucky me - I read that, because pregnancy lowers the resistance of your immune system, illness tends to last a little longer in pregnant women, so maybe I'll get to experience two weeks of sick. Lovely.

In the midst of The Sick, Stephen and I celebrated our five-year wedding anniversary on Friday, the 28th, by bargain hunting for summer clothes on the clearance rack for Baby Neener at Old Navy and eating Papa John's pizza in the comfort of our living room while watching Law & Order. I can't say it was the most romantic evening we've ever spent together, but that two hours out of the house was pretty wild, indeed, considering the fact we were both feeling like crap. Stephen was very sweet, however, and brought home an autumnal bouquet of flowers for me, which are pictured below. (Notice Charlie in the picture, trying to gobble up leaves, who I tried to push numerous times away from the flowers but was unable to due to his insanely strong greenery obsession. This is why the flowers are being kept on top of the mantle, out of the reach of kitties' mouths.)

It's hard to believe it's been five years since our wedding day, but then again, it's also hard to believe we've only been married for five years since we've been together for eleven years total. I think the fact that we've been together since the beginning of our senior year of high school, back when we were still kids, makes it feel like we've been together all our lives. People have asked me whether I ever feel like I missed out in college and in my early twenties, not getting to date around and really become my own person. Honestly? Sure, occasionally at the time the grass would seem greener and I'd be envious of my friends who were dating lots of guys and partying and having fun. There were even a few times in early college when I struggled with the decision of whether or not to stay in my relationship with Stephen. But, luckily I was a smart girl and realized what a good guy I had. I often think about the fact that having found each other when we were so young probably also kept me out of a hell of a lot of trouble. Just think of what a giant whore or drunk I could have become! (Because, you know, that's so in my nature to be those things.) Looking back, I don't regret in the slightest my decision to stay with Stephen, rather than to "live it up" during my college years. I feel very blessed that we were able to sort of grow up together during that rocky transition from the teenage years to young adulthood. I'm happy that we were given the chance to grow slowly as a couple over our high school and college years so that when we finally were able to get married, we had already established a strong foundation between each other. And, as I sit here and feel Baby Neener kicking inside of me, I'm happy we waited five years into our marriage before having children so that we had plenty of time to mature into a couple wanting to start a family, wanting to further expand our relationship, rather than a couple feeling like they ought to start a family.

Anyway, happy anniversary to my Neener - thank you for putting up with me and my insanity over all these years and for being such a wonderful husband. I honestly can't wait to enter the next phase of our marriage in January.

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